wedding nightmares

you know how they say that before a big event in your life, you sometimes dream about things going wrong? well, i had the most awful dream last.

it was my wedding day. i got to the reception and started greeting people and i realized i didn't make my wedding cake. so i started to freak out and run frantically around looking for an oven to bake the cake. as i started to bake the cake (no idea where ingredients came from... i guess thats what happens in dreams), i realized, not only had i forgotten the cake, i had also forgotten my shoes, the sign in book, and most importantly - branson. he was no where to be found. but have no fear! i had an apron, so i wouldn't ruin my dress.

ridiculous. i woke up at 3:02am so confused. that's the thing about dreams - it felt so real! for a minute, when i woke up, i really had to convince myself that it was still two weeks away, and it was going to be fine.

but then, in my semi-conscious, confused state, my mind wandered to the thoughts of thing like, is branson not going to show? and i really going to forget something big? am i going crazy? is this some sort of foreboding?

it took me a minute or two to relax and i fell back asleep - only to have a different version of this nightmare! this time, my ring was missing, my dress was dyed pink and some little boy put gum in my hair, so to get it out, they chopped and butchered my pretty hair!

i woke up again at 4:17am.

these nightmares have got to stop!

the good thing is that, in the end, i realize its only a dream... but come on! a girl needs her sleep!

two weeks from now

exactly two weeks from this moment
i will be in the temple
being sealed
for time and all eternity
to branson.

we will be surrounded by some of the most important people in our lives. others will be waiting outside for us. and others will be at the reception that night. its going to be a great day. i'm so full of anticipation, and excitement, and i'm nervous and have butterflies, but could not be more confident in the decision we have made to get married. and there's nothing like the feeling of knowing you are on the right path.

i'm well on my way to being ready. i've started to do all the last minute stuff now, so when it is last minute, i won't have much to worry or stress about. i've been quite organized. my mom is pleased. and i owe a lot of it to my mom and dad. my mom's encouragement and my dad's eye for detail has kept me on the ball. so thanks, mom and dad. you're the best!

2 weeks
13 days
335 hours
20160 minutes
1209360 seconds

until i get married!

i'm so unbelievably excited!

three amigas

elizabeth, rachel and i at chili's. not an uncommon event. in fact, i don't remember the last time we went to dinner and didn't go to chili's. its become our "place". now we just need to get the same waiter/waitress everytime so we can just say we want "the usual" - which consists of chips and salsa and then both kinda of molten cake. mmMmm! i'm hungry already!

the three of us went to high school together, kinda rotated through the same groups and ended up becoming best friends. we are all super sarcastic with each other, but we have so much fun together. i laugh more with these two than most people. love them.

our friendship is funny - we can go years without talking or seeing each other, but as soon as we do, we're right back where we left off. we've all gone off and done our own thing, but when we get together we always have a good laugh and enjoy each other's company. they're the best.

friday night, they threw a shower for me. it was really sweet of them. and it was fun to see people i hadn't seen in a while.

so thanks to those two. they are great! and i love them endlessly. they better not cut me off when i get married or i'll be seriously upset. ha ha they wouldn't... or would they? ha ha nah, we'll be friends forever. they'll be surrogate aunts to my children and we'll have set dinner dates at chili's every month or so and it will be great. you can't cut off family right? yes. so since we're practically related, too bad for them. their evil plan is foiled. ha ha!

shanna, elizabeth and rachel
friends forever...
or something like that.

grocery shower cont.

food! glorious food!

we got so much! it was awesome!

grocery shower

so on wednesday night, my home ward threw me a grocery shower.

the

greatest
shower

idea

ever!

seriously! it was awesome. so many generous, kind friends and neighbors came and i ended up with more groceries and food and household items than i ever even though existed! i was in awe! and so was brans when we brought it all home. it wouldn't fit in my car, so we packed my parents 12-passenger van. it was full! unbelievable! we'll have a stocked pantry for at least the next year!

i took pictures of all the loot after we piled it on, under and around a table in our family room, but i can't find my cord to connect my camera... so i will post a picture as soon as i can. it was so much! i couldn't say thank you enough! i don't even know the amount of money people spent, but i can imagine it was a lot!

people are so kind and generous. i feel like a thank you card isn't enough to truly express my gratitude. perhaps i will have to make them food with the food they gave me... ?? maybe? probably not. but hopefully people know how grateful we are. honest, truly ..."you're the answer to our wishes... truly scrumptious, you're truly, truly scrumptious..." a little chitty-chitty-bang-bang for you there.

anyway, it was great. i am so blessed and loved - beyond what i could even imagine!

i'll post pictures soon!

exactly 3 weeks

my cousin jason and cute lizzy got married this morning.

it was the first temple marriage i have been to, and it was amazing!
lizzy was stunningly beautiful and jase was the happiest i have ever seen him. they were both radiating happiness!
if its possible, my excitement to marry branson has doubled!
the experience was incredible and throughout the whole thing, i couldn't help but keep thinking that in exactly 3 weeks it will be me and branson.


exactly 3 weeks from this very moment, i will be sitting down in a beautiful room at the joseph smith memorial building, eating lunch with 60 people who i love dearly. and after that, i'll be taking a nap and getting ready for the reception. but by that time, the most important part will be over. we will be married in the morning - the culmination of both of our lives coming true! i am filled with joyous excitement! i can barely contain it! i just want to shout from the rooftops how much i love branson and how excited i am to be his wife for not only time, but throughout all eternity. i can't help but grin.


3 weeks!

calm and waiting

well, its about down to 3 weeks... and i gotta say, i am much more calm than i thought i would be. in march, at the start of all of this engagement business, i foresaw me being crazy about this time... completely overwhelmed with everything i have left to do, stressed with the next-to-last-minute details and just getting nervous all together. but that hasn't been the case.

people don't believe me when i say this, but planning is done. finished. the reception is squared away. boys have been fitted for tuxes. branson's ring has been purchased. invitations have been sent out. all that i have left to do is print and frame pictures, bake a mighty big cake and wait.

the waiting is the hardest part. while the big day is only 22 days 21 hours and some odd minutes (i could figure it out if you're truly curious), i want it here now! i'm ready... mostly. will be sooner rather than later.

but still, i wait.

caught off guard

last night while branson and i were talking
there was a brief pause in the conversation
and he turned to me and said,
"did you know that i think
you will make a wonderful wife and a fantastic mother?"
it caught me off guard. i couldn't help but grin :D

23 days. i can't wait.

preview

here's a little preview of what is to come and why i love my daddy:


10 reasons why i love my dad
(in no particular order)

1. he is supportive
2. he is super knowledgeable
3. he taught me to know truth and whats right
4. he makes faces with me
5. he is all about the details
6. he has an excellent sense of humor
7. he taught me how to work hard and the value of it
8. he is very talented - jack of all trades
9. he is always willing to help anyone with anything
10. i'm his little girl...

the list could go on and on for eternity

shanna+branson

compliments of mike lyman photography

snobbery

i'm a snob.

this isn't the first time i've self-declared my snobbery. and it probably won't be the last either. i've realized that i'm very particular about certain things and the way those things are done. (lately pertaining to a wedding...) i'm not saying that my methods are far superior of others, just that i know what works in regards to some things and am confident in that knowledge.

i've been having an inner battle recently because i've realized the time and energy it takes to explain exactly what i want to someone could be better put to use by just doing it myself. while i am deeply appreciative of the help, i, being the snob that i am, would be less frustrated and less worried if i just did it myself.

this isn't a new thing for me, either. in high school and jr high, there are an abundance of group projects where you are forced to complete and assignment with 3-5 other people. most people love group work - it means less work for them because it is spread out among so many others. except me. i hate group work. for me, group projects meant i left part of my grade up to some one else. which wasn't ok with me. seeing as i held a good gpa (3.8 overall), i wasn't about to leave a large portion of my grade up to some lazy, selfish student who didn't do homework. no way. so more often than not, i would volunteer to do the group project myself. i knew it would be done correctly and on time. the time i would spend otherwise worrying about whether or not it was being done correctly, i spent on the project itself. and i always did well. i enjoyed the satisfaction of that 'A' at the top of the group sheet, as well as the voices of appreciation from the less grade-obsessive students in my group.

so its been something i've always had issues with. and i haven't had many problems with it, truth be told. its always worked out in my favor. until now. when i changed my ways and let the group project out of my hands.

i probably sound crazy, and i'll admit that i'm slightly obsessive compulsive, but lately i've just felt the stress that accompanies relying on others. people have different priorities and different time schedules. which is fine. i understand. but i have my priorities and my time schedule. and waiting on other people and compromising aren't my strong points.

so i reach the proverbial fork in the road. do i do things myself? or do i let others help me? do i step on toes to do exactly what i want? or do i settle on something i don't really like and spare feelings? hm... interesting dilemma. selfish vs appreciative... can i be both? can i appreciate the help, but be selfish about the result? good grief! i don't know what to do. i've begun to freak out about this. and i'm sure it will pass soon, but until it does, i'm stuck at the crossroads. i honestly don't know which is better. although the angel on my shoulder tells me feelings are more important. but i gotta say, i'm starting to lean towards the selfish devil looming on my shoulder. she's much more convincing at this point.

self control

wedding stress is on! less than a month until the day! i'm truly in disbelief! it feels like it should still be so far away - it seems like just yesterday i was counting down at 93 days... and yet at other times, it seems like its not coming fast enough.

but i seem (at least to myself) to be handling the stress alright. i'm down to the wire almost, but things have gone according to plan, and i think i'm right on schedule. keep your fingers crossed that it continues to go that way. i'm down to pictures mostly. hopefully the invitations will be done this time next week, and i'm taking bridals this weekend. i am so excited!

however, this brings me to my latest quandary. so a little known fact about me is that i tend to eat when i get stressed. i've always been a decent eater - i take after my mom. back in the day, she could eat a horse. in fact, i recall several stories of her out-eating my dad when they were dating and first married.

funny story: so the first time my dad brought my mom home to meet his family, they had a home-cooked meal made by my grandma. my dad is the youngest of 5, and his two older brothers constantly tease anyone and everyone. so apparently at dinner, when they thought my mom wasn't looking the kept loading up her plate. but my mom, being the secretly sassy woman that she is, would just keep eating and eating. she amazed the brothers and got their vote of approval.

digressing, i've always been able to hold my own when it comes to eating. i'm no dainty eater by any means. but when i get stressed, all i want to do is eat. i find strange comfort in food. not like chocolate or usual comfort food. i like heavy meals - multiple courses and variations. so the stress comes and here i come with a fork, ready to feast. its a bad habit. particularly at this time of life. i'm getting married in 30 days. i have a dress that was altered to fit me perfectly - at the time of the fitting. that was a month ago. do you know what happens to a girl who eats when she gets stressed and she's a month away from her wedding? yup. scary thought. a perfect dress, a million photos to be taken, and an imperfect girl. horrible combination. so i'm trying to control myself.

my dad keeps reminding me - in fact, he came into my office this morning to drop something off, and my boss, scott, was standing at my desk, i introduced them, they made small talk and then my dad said this: "don't let her have any candy on her desk. she's got a dress she needs to fit into." thanks, dad. i really appreciate it...

so i'm trying to exercise and not gorge myself due to stress, but i'll have you know it is painfully difficult for me. i've never really believed in diets because i've never needed one. i was blessed with the hebdon metabolism growing up which helped keep me thin. don't get me wrong - i'm still proportionately small, but not as small as i used to be. that blasted bakery and all this stress did me in.

and now i have a deadline.
30 days till hundreds of people see me in my dress.
4 days until i take pictures in my dress for everyone to see.

that's not a lot of time.
now i'm stressed again.
self control and discipline, shanna. self control.
maybe i'll just quit work and go work out everyday.

ha ha who am i kidding?!

self control. i've got this.

my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit...
--- the power of positive thinking: if i say it 5o times, it might be true... ha ha ha


actual comments from this week at work: "no, i don't want to go to lunch today, coworkers. i have a dress to fit into." "please don't put those donuts on my desk." "no, i don't think an 'all-you-can-eat' is a good idea for lunch."

one month

i get married one month from today!

31 days!

i can't believe it!

mike lyman photography

we went and shot some pictures with mike on saturday.
these are some of my favorites!

mike did and awesome job!

isn't this romantic?
it looks like the perfect shot out of a chick flick. aww, branson and i could be a chick flick. ha ha ha

i love it.
the angle.
black and white.
the rain...
(trick: not actual rain.
yup, mike's that good.)
fantastic.


this was my most favorite of brans.
he was actually smiling.
and i'm laughing.
i think its a really cute picture of us both.

and the light sepia mike used on it made it ever better!

don't worry, this one will be blown up in a frame at our reception! i can't wait!

and for the record, the chain didn't break.
i was slightly concerned at first.



branson decided to swing over my head. truth be told, it made me really nervous. so i tried to duck so he wouldn't hit me.

its too bad that his arm is blocking his face, because in my worrisome state, i made a pretty cute face. not to mention how pretty my hair looks! ha ha branson's blasted arm. ruined the picture.

but i still think it looks pretty cool. its got a kinda vintage advertisement look to it. like something you would see in a magazine or as a poster in a subway station or something.



mike did an excellent job with color, too. this brick wall actually was branson's old apartment building. its up in the avenues and had that old brick look to it. we thought it was pretty awesome.

and i love the green plants with the red blossoms. its lovely.


i have a feeling that this is a pretty typical face i make at branson.

once again, i think my hair looks lovely. and its just too bad that you can't see branson's face.

but for some reason, i find this picture endearing and probably very accurate of what we usually look like.



this picture is in dire need of explanation - see, i make this face i call the "muppet fish face" and branson told me to make it, so i did.

branson tried to copy me, but failed miserably. he just looks like he's in pain or dying or something. his face makes me laugh.

so this picture is entitled 'our fish faces'. me, being a muppet fish. and brans being and old fish whose tail fin must have just been bitten off by a shark.

anyway, we had a lot of fun!

mike is a great photographer and he's so much fun to be around. he's one of our most favorites. we owe him a lot. he's the best! he's been a great friend over the past year for me and multiple years for branson. we love him. and his camera. thanks mike!

stress

the stress has started to hit.

i've had a headache for a while now, and i'm contributing it to the fact i'm doing to many things. i'm working full-time, planning my wedding, making wedding cakes, teaching piano and still trying to make time to spend with branson every day. yikes. after reading that, i realize how crazy i am.

not to mention the fact that i get married in 36 days. yup. 3 6 . that's not very many. i feel like there are so many things left to do. when realistically, there aren't a whole lot. i've basically gotten it down to pictures and sending out invitations. oh and a sign-in book. but i'm working on that. so really, i've done well organizing and getting things done. i'm pleased with myself. but i have recently realized how tired i am, and i'm afraid i might be getting sick because i'm constantly on the go. so after this wedding cake is done on friday, i'm officially going to do everything i can to relax. no big deal, right? its just a wedding... ha ha ha i make myself laugh.

i have to admit, though, its been mostly fun - all of the planning has gone very smoothly and i haven't had too many unexpected things happen, so its been good. even enjoyable at times. ha ha hopefully the trend will continue and everything will continue to run smoothly. i can only hope.

but blast this ridiculous headache, making me just want to sleep and not do anything! its dampening my plan! go away headache! i don't need you... oh well, looks like exedrin is going to be my good friend today...

red mango

more people in the world need to learn customer service. particularly girls at rocky mountain chocolate factory today. i'll just leave it at they were awfully rude and inconsiderate, not to mention unprofessional for someone who could have given them a lot of business.

____________

on a completely unrelated note, i highly recommend red mango to everyone. it is absolutely delightful. its a little frozen yogurt shop - i went to the one in fort union today. its actual yogurt frozen. it tastes like vanilla yogurt. not frozen yogurt sometimes confused with ice cream, actual yogurt. it is delish! i am already craving more and its only been a few hours... not a good sign.

they have different sizes and the original is the only way to go as far as yogurt goes. but then they have beautifully delicious fruit to add to it, as well as other fixin's such as graham crackers, chocolate chips and other good things. what makes it even better is that it is better for you than ice cream - the small size is only 90 calories. now, i'm not the girl who counts calories, by any means, but only 90 calories and its delicious? a definite find, if i do say so myself.

weekends

weekends just aren't long enough.

because really they are only one day long. saturday. that's it. sunday is church and family day. friday isn't really the weekend, because you still have to work all day. so saturday is really all there is to a weekend. and how can you be expected to get everything done that you need to in one day? can't. impossible.

this 'weekend' was branson's birthday. and i made him the best chocolate cake he has ever tasted. aren't i nice? ha ha

in the morning, we went and took engagement pictures with our photographer slash mechanic slash good friend mike. it was a lot of fun. i haven't seen the pics yet, but as soon as i have a digital copy, i'll post them for everyone to admire. smile. it truly was a lot of fun. brans was in kindof a goofy mood which made it more fun. so we laughed the whole time. it was fantastic.

then we went to pf changs (best lettuce wraps ever) for lunch as a birthday/thank you lunch with mike. and then we made an appearance at kadee's graduation party. so by that point, our day was shot.

no laundry got done. no cleaning even thought about. and no time for planning either.

i need another day of the week where i don't have to work and can just run errands. with a few of my friends graduating, i've realized what a blessing it is that i took this semester off. i've been so busy without school. if i had finals the past two weeks as well? probably be dead i would. (a little yoda phrasing for the star wars fantasmagorics of the world) good grief! i'm already losing my mind just thinking about it.

so lets consider this a disclaimer, shall we? if i seem absent-minded, or focused on other things, its with good reason. "i've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and guilder to frame for it; i'm swamped." false. but i do have wedding cakes to make, my wedding to finish planning, wallpaper to take down and walls to paint and so much cleaning to do, i don't want to think about it. i really am swamped. but i'm sure it will all turn out fine.

i hope it all turns out fine.

may day

may first.
austin's birthday. also, wendy and maygen.
becky and andy's wedding anniversary.

and today there's snow on the ground.
snow! on may first! Its supposed to be well into spring, not winter! what's the matter with this climate that i live in? seriously. i woke up to a layer of white gloom covering everything outside. i wanted to cry.

blasted snow. all i have to say is that if this may snow doesn't bring june flowers, i'm going to be irate.