c-o-u-n-t-e-r-f-e-i-t

at the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee...

we are fearless spellers who love scary words.
we're the nerds with the dictionary on our knees...

and we find we love spelling! it makes us feel normal.
we love spelling...

i love my dictionary, and i love the indented border. every word's in alphabetical order,
ergo, lost things always can be found...

i achieve my goals. so unfazed am i as my life unscrolls unamazed am i. winning is a job and i get not real enjoyment but je peux parler six langues. carda idio maes simple. jerro oh yo no reshipe no yesashesades. ja gavaru shetz yatzukim. v'ani yodat shalom. im noch mindesterns sieben mehr. i speak six languages. i am sick and tired of always being the best and the brightes at every mass. six lousy languages and for my height i'm the lightest of the girls in my class.

chimerical. c-h-i-m-e-r-i-c-a-l. highly unrealistic, wildly fanciful.

on tuesday, branson and i went the the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee. its a relatively new musical (2005 i think) and it was hilarious. so funny! a few unnecessary parts, but the music was fantastic and the acting was excellent. i was not disappointed.

part of my excitement for this was due to the fact that i was in the spelling be. i remember it vividly. 4th grade. i was awesome. people were amazed at a) how little i was and b) how great i was at spelling. it quickly came down to 3 of us. me, heidi and heather. heidi and heather were both in 6th grade - much older and supposedly smarter than i, a feeble 4th grader. but i gave them a run for their money. but i swear i always got the hard words. no joke, the word right before i got out was testimony. ridiculous.

the 3 of us spelled and spelled and spelled our little hearts out, for a good 15 or 20 minutes - we all kept getting the word right. finally, it was my turn.

the word is 'counterfeit'.

no need for a definition, i knew what it meant. i didn't even need it used in a sentence.

c-o-u-n-t...
e-r...
f...
then the tricky part... i before e? e before i? which is it?
and my poor, dyslexic 4th grade brain said the wrong one. although as soon as the letter came out of my mouth, i knew it was incorrect.
i-e-t.
counterfeit.

unbelievable. i've never been so mad! i didn't even wait for the judge to tell me it was wrong. i walked off the stage as he said, "i'm sorr..." i was gone. it was expected that you sat with your class after you were eliminated, but i was so upset that i went out in the hall and paced back and forth for the remainder of the bee. (which was really only 2 or 3 minutes) my mom came out and told me how proud she was that i made it so far, etc, trying to console my shattered 9 year old heart. but i was still upset.

truth be told, to this day every time i hear the word 'counterfeit' i have to spell it under my breath. c-o-u-n-t-e-r-f-e-i-t. counterfeit.

important vs urgent

i love to see the temple. and yes, i'm going there someday.

when? i'm not sure yet. but i know i'm going.

the words of one of my favorite primary songs say it best:

i love to see the temple. i'm going there someday
to feel the holy spirit, to listen and to pray.
for the temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty.
i'll prepare myself while i am young - this is my sacred duty.
i love to see the temple. i'll go inside someday.
i'll covenant with my father. i'll promise to obey
for the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together.
as a child of God i've learned this truth - a family is forever.

so lately i've been feeling the pressure. big time. for a lot of things. school. work. finances. relationships. e t c . so on saturday i decided to go sit at the temple. not do any ordinances or anything. simply sit and take in the feeling there. so i did. and it was phenomenal. i just sat in the waiting room for a few hours. watched people come and go for several weddings (i saw 6 brides come out in the time i was there... busy day at the temple). and i was calmed. my mind was cleared. the questions in my mind weren't necessarily answered, but i think i realized what did and didn't matter. as a good friend of mine says:

put the important things first, and the urgent things second.

its important to realize what really matters and what you can put off and worry about later. and sometimes the things that need to be done now aren't necessarily the important things. but we get so caught up in them that we forget some of the important things. but i think that perspective was something i needed to remember. and being at the temple helped me do that. its so lovely there. i don't go there enough.

pressure

under pressure... by queen. that song has been stuck in my head all morning. seriously, i can't get rid of it. so instead of focusing on the important things at the moment and figuring things out, i'm singing, sat on a fence but it don't work, keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn why, why, why? love love love love love. insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking, can't we give ourselves one more chance? why can't we give love that one more chance? ...under pressure... under pressure...

unbelievable. i'm going crazy. i feel like the whole world is throwing things at me left and right. and i'm too stressed and can't find my focus enough to figure out where i need to start. how do i decide what is the most important and what comes first? good question, shan.

maybe it doesn't matter? perhaps, wherever i start will suffice, i just need to start, and pray for help. yes, that sounds like a good plan. now, where to start...

Called To Serve

after 19 years of anticipation and 2 hours in the van with our family and branson, the moment arrived. we drove down to a rest stop in spanish fork, where we waited for austin and the price girls to come meet us. every car that passed was disappointing. but every pair of headlights was encouraging. we counted cars as they passed, until finally, a little silver car pulled into the parking lot and the intense excitement grew! they jumped out of the car and we had everyone pile into the van - nice and cozy! austin went over everyone's guesses as to where he was going to go and said whoever was the closest in mileage would get a steak dinner.


you can't see it too well, but you can hear just fine in this little video clip...


CANADA TORONTO WEST!
i couldn't believe it. but as he read the words i knew it was perfect. he's going to be such a great missionary. *tear* and i'm going to miss him so much! *sniff*tear*

it was quite an emotional experience for me. and i'm trying to pinpoint exactly why...
i was so overwhelmed - that my brother was actually holding his mission call and was called by the Lord through President Monson to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

my little brother's going to canada!

truthfully, a small part of me was almost jealous. for the past few years i've tried to envision that moment, when the mission call came. and i usually saw myself sitting next to austin, holding a white envelope myself, waiting until his excitement settled and then carefully opening said envelope to reveal my own mission call. ever since i was 8 years old, i've wanted to go. and i still do. someday. but as i sat there and watched him open his call, it was made very apparent to me that that wasn't my calling. i have other things to do, and that i have to serve in a different way. but serve nonetheless. it was the first time in my life i felt like i had been hit by a ton of bricks. it was almost like a slap in the face. granted, the past 6 or 7 months, my mission aspirations have been greatly hindered by a boy i like to call branson, making me really evaluate whether or not i should go. and since then its been a question in my mind. and now i know.

i'm not going to wear a black name tag. i won't go to a foreign country to serve my brothers and sisters in the gospel. i'll have a different way of serving. member missionary work. being a mother someday (though not in the near or foreseeable future at the moment). i'll be more like my mom and serve in every capacity that i can. church callings, being a good neighbor, etc.

and i think i'm gonna be ok. its funny how God answers our questions and lets us know what the true desires of our heart are.

along with my soul searching, mildly jealous state, i was so excited. austin is going to be the best missionary out there. seriously. the. best. i'm thrilled for those toronto-ans. they won't know what hit them - or maybe they will... a book of mormon, the gospel, baptism perhaps...

but i will say one thing - sending him off will be the hardest, most bittersweet thing i've ever done up to this point. not sure i'll be able to handle it all that well. i'll be a wreck the whole month of june. and i'm hoping that i can spend some time with him before he reports to the mtc on june 18th. he is in price until sometime in may and then a month later he's gone for 2 years. 2 years! that seems slightly like forever. but i'm sure it will fly by.

Elder Austin James Ashcraft. Called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Canada Toronto West Mission. Report to the Provo MTC on June 18, 2008.

the first of the ashcraft boys to go on a mission. the start of a dynasty... 10 consecutive years of missionaries out in the field. i can only imagine the blessings my family will receive.
go bring them in, boys.

special delivery

IT CAME! IT CAME! THE MAIL FINALLY CAME!

mom called me crying a minute ago and said through tears, "i'm holding a mission call in my hands"

ok. so maybe i shed a tear, too. and i'm sure i will shed many more within the next couple hours.

MY LITTLE BROTHER IS GOING ON A MISSION! I AM SO EXCITED! I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN THE JOY IN MY SOUL! OH MY GOODNESS!

*tear* we're going to meet him in spanish fork for dinner. he'll come half way from price and we'll go half way from salt lake. man, emotions are flying all over the place! *tear* *smile* *tear*

to be continued...

nothing yet

still not here.

dumb.

postal

service, that is. I am sitting at work, talking on the phone to my mom, waiting for her to yell, "THE MAIL IS HERE! THE MAIL IS HERE! ITS HERE!!!"

but alas, no mail yet. its afternoon. mail should come in the morning. because why should perfectly nice people like me and my family have to wait all the dang day for the mail to come?! right. there's no good reason. it should be here.

but i'm so anxious! its almost like its my own mission call to come. except its not mine. its austin's. but its the first mission call out of at least 5 in my family. its so exciting! i can't wait! literally...

i'm gonna go postal if it doesn't come soon...

Branson

this is branson and i.
aren't we cute?

this picture sums up our relationship about 93% of the time. brans says something and i laugh. aaww... ha ha. we have a lot of fun together. i just love him.

HOW WE MET: on may 5, 2007 stuart smith and i went to a party at, what we didn't know then was referred to as, the xi house/cottage. the room was packed. i sat on the floor leaned up next to a couch. some kid in a yellow baseball shirt was sitting on the couch and i kinda brushed his leg as i sat down and immediately apologized. then said, "hi, i'm shanna." he told me his name was branson. but the kid sitting next to him was named bronson - i knew bronson really well from high school. so i said, "like bronson?" and from there the conversation led to talk of how people never say names right, and branson calling me stephanie.

the next time i saw him, was july 3rd. i was kinda interested in josh johnson, who ended up being branson's roommate. josh invited me over and we lit fireworks and went to iceberg for shakes. and from then on, i started hanging out more and more. and on july 16th josh invited me to come see 'live free or die hard' with him and a couple people. branson was one of those people. but he was grumpy and in a really, really bad mood. so as we were walking in to the theater, matt ericksen said, "shanna, you have to sit by branson." and i was not convinced i had to. "and you should kiss him. maybe then he won't be grumpy." they all laughed and i was slightly confused but didn't really make a big deal of it. i did, however, end up sitting next to branson. and throughout the whole movie, he made comments on how unrealistic and implausible the movie was. and it made me laugh hysterically. and that's how we became friends.

but the clincher is when danielle haga invited a bunch of people to a party. it was august 7th and there was a giants vs nationals game on. i showed up and went downstairs to watch the game - it was the night barry steriod bonds was going to potentially hit his 756th homerun - breaking hank aaron's record. baseball history. and i wanted to watch it. so i did. branson and mike and spencer jacobsen and bronson watched it, too. and i was intruiged by branson. throughout the night, we talked here and there, but eventually we all wound up different places. i went outside to the deck at one point and i sat down at a table. somehow, branson wound up sitting next to me. the conversation with everyone turned into a byu bash fest. and branson and i expressed the same opinion on byu, defending it kinda. we made eye contact and talked to each other a little more, and brans said, "we should be best friends. bff's even." i agreed and was in a mildly giddy state.

then he threw a 2 liter bottle at my head. that's not entirely true. he went below the deck and was messin' around and threw a bottle up, but it hit me. then i milked it and made him feel bad. ha ha.

anyway. things started to progress between us. i started coming around a little. and branson was determined to bring me out of the anti-social shell i had created for myself since moving home from byu. one night, september 1st, i believe, branson invited me to go up the canyon with a bunch of people. we went, but had a fiasco with getting a site and some crazy lady tried to regulate, it was ridiculous. but we ended up ditching everyone and renting 'the holiday' and watching it. we didn't cuddle, though i tried to make it clear i wanted to. but after the movie was over, we got caught in a pillow fight, where brans actually hit me in the face on accident. this makes me sound like one of those girls caught in an abusing relationship - hit with a 2 liter bottle, punched in the face... the abuse drew me near. ha ha just kidding. but for the first time ever, i stayed out until 2am with him that night laughing and having fun.

and that was the start of something great.

after that, we started hanging out all the time. and the first time i was positive he like me was the night i moved into the condo with mary. he called me and said, "let celebrate!" so i got ice cream and headed over to his house. now, branson has weird issues with dairy products and refuses to share them with other people. particularly ice cream. but i took ben & jerry's ice cream over and he shared with me. that's when i knew.

the next week, on september 10th, he took me to the rilo kiley/modest mouse concert down at uvsc. it was a great show, and we danced a little and i fell asleep on his shoulder on the way home (in the back of the car - kadee was driving). the next week, he convinced me to go down to vegas with everyone for the unlv vs utah game. i did and branson and i were inseparable the whole trip. i had to come home early to get to a conference at work, and while i was at the zermatt for my conference, branson came up to visit. stu and brans drove up one night and we just chilled. it was a lot of fun and i was thrilled that he would drive all the way up to midway just to see me.

and from there on out, we've had so much fun together. we've had a few rough times - my illogical anger and stupid freak outs have been somewhat trying at times, but we've worked past everything that has come up. and now i love him and can't really imagine life without him.

shanna and branson.
has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

no pun intended.
ha ha ha

lasagna

what a cute little multi-tasking chef i am! ha ha

what a fantastic meal! mandi and i decided to make lasagna, rolls, and the most amazing salad ever. it was delicious. and oh so much fun, too!

my recipe for the lasagna is really easy - just time consuming. but here it is:

1 pound ground beef
1 chopped onion
2 (6oz) cans tomato paste 1 egg
1 (14.5oz) can crushed tomatoes
2 cups water
1 tablespoon oregano

2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon sugar

12 oz cottage cheese
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

9-12 lasagna noodles
1 pound mozzarella cheese, shredded

1. Brown onion and ground beef. Drain. Mix with tomato past and crushed tomatoes, water, oregano, basil, garlic powder, salt, pepper and sugar. Cook on medium until boiling. Simmer 1 hour.
2. Blend cottage cheese, parmesan cheese and egg until smooth.
3. Boil pasta in lightly salted water for 8-10 minutes. Drain.
4. Preheat oven to 350*

5. Spread 1 cup sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan. Cover sauce with a layer of noodles and 1/3 of remaining sauce. Top with 1/2 mozzarella. Place another layer of noodles and sauce over the mozzarella. Top with cottage cheese mixture. Top with remaining noodles and sauce.

6. Bake for 30 minutes. Sprinkle remaining remaining mozzarella on top and bake 15 more minutes until golden brown and bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes.

playing mom

so for my dad's birthday, which is known to the rest of the world as valentines day, by parents decided to go on a little trip. my dad won a nights stay in some luxury sweet in a hotel down near price. they showed us pictures last night. it was insane, and ridiculous how luxurious this thing was.

1700 square feet. 3 fireplaces. a heart-shaped jacuzzi.
a waterfall running into said jacuzzi. etc.

ridiculous. but it was nice for my parents to get away. its the first time in 22 years they have left all of us kids just to go out of town for a couple days. the only overnight stays during those 22 years were spent in a hospital, where another sibling was born. so it was long overdue. but now that the lot of us kids are somewhat independent - at least in the sense that we can dress, feed and take care of ourselves, its easier for them to leave.

not that that made it any easier for my mom to leave. i'm sure a few tears were shed as they pulled away. and not to belittle any other mother's love for her children in any regard, my mom has made it very evident that she loves us. any one who has that hard of a time leaving her children has to have a deep, deep love for them.

so the motherhood responsibility was relinquished to me for a couple days, while at the same time, i was still living my independent, working full time, 20 year old life. and may i just say, working full time and motherhood do NOT mix. its exhausting! I couldn't believe how truly tired i was at the end of the day. now i know why parents generally force their kids to bed relatively early - so they can go to sleep after the crazy long day! which is all i wanted to do as soon as the sun went down. i'm just hoping and praying that when my days as a mom roll around, i'll be in a situation where my husband will be able to provide for us, so i can stay at home and nuture our kids.

sleep through the static

So I will cook all your books
You’re too good looking and mistooken
You could watch it instead
From the comfort of your burning beds
…Or you can sleep through the static

Who needs sleep when we’ve got love?
Who needs keys when we’ve got clubs?
Who needs please when we’ve got guns?
Who needs peace when we’ve gone above
But beyond where we should have gone?
We went beyond where we should have gone

jack johnson.
brilliant.
go listen and sleep through the static.

bring your pie face to work day

so its my parents anniversary today. 22 years. with so much sadness and divorce in the world today, i can't help but applaud my parents. *clapping* horray for their undying love for each other and for each of their children.

daddy called me last night and asked me if i could take care of the kids this morning - waking them up. getting them ready, taking them to school, etc - so he could take mom to the temple. sweet... so i did, but since pie face is not in school yet, she got to come to work with me.

--

she was so excited. for some odd reason, the girl loves to come to the office. perhaps because i take her to wendy's and let her watch movies on my laptop all day... anyway, she was ready and willing to help me this morning - she stuffed envelopes, sorted papers, even helped file things. she's like an intern, only we pay her with food.

--

but she started to get bored, so she pulled up to my laptop and said, "i wanna play a game." i told her i didn't have very many games, to which she responded, "yeah you have spider solitaire... see?" and she pulled in up in a window. this girl is seriously technologically savvy. it blows my mind. i don't even think we had a computer until i was in the later years of elementary school... 6th grade maybe? anyway. this girl is so smart. i can't stand it. so she starts playing spider solitaire and knows how to click on the mouse pad of a laptop to make it work just right. she's brilliant.

--

and oh so adorable... even when she is making weird faces.

whisper like the holy ghost

Brindy was baptized on Saturday morning. How exciting! It was great. Except for one thing -the lack of my voice.

Brindy called me earlier in the week and asked me to speak on the Holy Ghost at her baptism. I prepared a decent talk and prayed that I would be able to talk louder than a whisper. But apparently, my voice served as an object lesson. The Holy Ghost doesn't yell. It whispers. Just like me. So only the first few rows could hear what I said... but I guess that's alright. Brindy's the one that mattered.

It was a nice meeting though. There were so many people there. Family. Friends. Neighbors. The room was packed. People had to stand in the back - there was not enough room. Pretty cool to think that many people love Brindy, as well as my family. It was neat.

An hour after the baptism, President Hinckley's funeral and grave service were broadcast in the chapel. So we stayed and watched that. Great meeting. It was as nice as a funeral can be. There was laughter, tears and the Spirit was strong. It was really nice.

And this morning, the Church held a press conference, announcing the new First Presidency. President Thomas S. Monson was announced as the Prophet, with President Henry B. Eyring as First Counselor and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf as Second Counselor. I have to admit that I thought that President Uchtdorf was a very likely candidate and I was thrilled when I watched him walk in behind President Monson. I am very excited to see where this new Presidency will take the Church. I wonder what the focal points will be - President Hinckley was so focused on Temples and the Perpetual Education Fund. I wonder if they will continue in that direction, or if there are other important issues they will focus on. I'm excited to find out.