s h a n n a l y n n e

blog change

2008-06-30T11:07:00.007-06:00

it official - the blog address is changing. i decided we should have a blog for us both, not just me. (not that brans will ever post anything... maybe he will... we will see.)

so as of now, it will no longer be www.shannaa.blogspot.com. (it will still be accessible, but probably not updated.)

i will now be using:

www.bransonandshanna.blogspot.com

so let it be known and spread the word! and check it out for upcoming pictures and updates of life since june 12th!

R2D2

2008-06-17T09:22:00.002-06:00

while bored at work, i stumbled upon one of the most amazing things ever:

an R2D2 cake. yes, c a k e.

here's the proof.

i am so going to make this cake someday! i can't wait!

davison photography

2008-06-16T16:14:00.002-06:00

my good friend lauren came to my wedding and took lots of pictures for us! here is a link to go check a few of them out!

davison photography

it came!

2008-06-16T08:45:00.003-06:00

it came! and it was perfect!

what a great day!

we haven't gotten many pictures back yet, but i thought this one was quite cool. that's us! in front of the temple! hooray!

more pictures to come!

less than 48 hours

2008-06-10T15:04:00.001-06:00

less than 48 hours
i think i'm almost ready!

wow... its almost here!

longer weekends

2008-06-06T13:56:00.004-06:00

6 days and counting! its coming quick!

and can i just say how excited i am that its the weekend? granted, i wish weekends are longer! and mine is packed! i have too many things to do... hopefully i can get them all done.

weekends should be at least a day longer. wouldn't you agree?

but on that note, i am grateful for the two days off. when i worked at the bakery, i worked saturday mornings at 5am. brutal. just brutal. so i should count my blessings that i have saturdays off. and i am super grateful for that. if not, i definitely would be ready for this wedding on time.

but i think i'm pretty close. i should be at least. only 6 days left! but out of those 6 days, really only a couple are left to do things. i decided early on that the day before my wedding would be peaceful and relaxing. so everything will be done by then. but with a funeral on monday, its kindof upped my time frame. monday will be a day with family, so i'm down to 3ish days. saturday, sunday, tuesday. i can finish by then. yes sirree.

just pray that the cleaners get my dress done on time and that the photo printers print in the time frame they claimed they would. then i will be just fine.

nervous-less

2008-06-05T11:37:00.003-06:00

in officially less than one week, brans and i will be married! i cannot fully express my excitement!

i know i've said this a million times, but i honestly can't believe how quickly it came! with all that's been going on, its almost as if i have forgotten the time. days seem like mere hours to me and weeks are more like single days! the time has just zoomed past me, leaving me to wonder how it went so fast.

but its almost here. i'm so relieved and excited and thrilled beyond belief, but not nervous or dreading it in anyway. the most frequently asked question lately has been, "so, are you nervous?" and honestly - not at all. i couldn't be less nervous! its the culmination of everything i've dreamed of and worked for my whole life. my dream is coming true!

and i just love branson. more than i ever thought possible. he is my best friend and i'm so grateful for him and for his support and for all that he does for me. i'm excited to have him forever. i think we will be slash are an excellent team. we have a lot of fun together and we've learned how to work together. i love spending time with him, even if its doing the dishes together, cooking, tearing down wallpaper, playing games or even just watching the news together. he is the best!

so 6 days and 20 some-odd hours... it can't come fast enough and has come far too swiftly at the same time! sigh... ready or not... here we come.

one week! yay!

peacefully heartbroken

2008-06-04T09:40:00.001-06:00

Loren William Ashcraft

1919-2008

grandad passed away yesterday at about 11:30am.
he was released from his suffering
and was reunited with grandma.
what a joyful reunion that must have been!

when my mom's dad passed away, she described her feelings by saying she was "peacefully heartbroken." i think that sums it up fairly well. we are all peacefully heartbroken - sad that our time on earth with grandad is over, but thrilled with the knowledge that we will see him again, and we are all at peace.

i arrived at grandad's house shortly after his passing, and for about a half hour sat with my great aunt lila in grandad's room, talking and reminiscing with her. we both commented on how incredible the feeling in the room was - the spirit was definitely present. at one point, we commented on the great reunion of grandad and grandma, and all of the other loved ones who would have greeted him. aunt lila laughed and said, "oh i'm so jealous. they are having a party without me." it was the sweetest thing.

grandad was a great man. still is. one of the greatest. he is such a phenomenal example to all of us and he will be missed. however, in our peacefully heartbroken state, our sadness won't linger long. his memory will hopefully encourage us all to be like him and follow in his footsteps.

we love you grandad

grape juice, not grapefruit

2008-06-03T09:24:00.003-06:00

lately my grandad hasn't been doing very well. he's in a lot of pain and doesn't have very much strength. most of the family will be surprised if he lives through the week.

he's had prostate cancer for the past twenty-some odd years and it hasn't really been a big issue. but in the past few months it has gotten much, much worse. it makes me sad to see him suffering so much. i know he's ready to go home, ready to see grandma again, but something is keeping him here. and i hope it lets him go soon.

with all the medication he's been given lately, he's had quite a few episodes of hallucinations. he sees objects that aren't there. but through it all, he has kept his sense of humor.

saturday and sunday afternoon, we went over to his house. a few of his brothers and sisters had flown in from out of state to see him. it was fun to visit with them and hear stories from their childhood - stories that often included grandad. at one point, i was inside sitting with grandad while the aunts and uncles were in the other room talking. he asked for alona, my aunt, so i sent bryson to get her. when alona came into the room, she started talking to grandad asking him if he wanted something to drink. he asked what she had, to which she replied, "i have some grape juice." but i guess he thought she said "grapefruit" and grandad hates grapefruit. so he declined and said, "i don't like grapefruit."
"no, grape juice."
"no grapefruit."

it went back and forth for a minute or two, and then he finally understood, "grape juice" and said, "yeah, i'll have a sip of that."

the exchange made me smile.

i just hope his suffering isn't prolonged.

june disbelief

2008-06-02T09:37:00.002-06:00

i can't believe its already june. the 2nd of june... i get married in 10 days. a week and a half. and only a few more things to do. i am still on top of things, i think. i'm trying to get all the last minute things does, so that at the last minute, i will be relaxing with my mom. i think its a good plan.

ten days... its almost here!

wedding nightmares

2008-05-30T08:44:00.003-06:00

you know how they say that before a big event in your life, you sometimes dream about things going wrong? well, i had the most awful dream last.

it was my wedding day. i got to the reception and started greeting people and i realized i didn't make my wedding cake. so i started to freak out and run frantically around looking for an oven to bake the cake. as i started to bake the cake (no idea where ingredients came from... i guess thats what happens in dreams), i realized, not only had i forgotten the cake, i had also forgotten my shoes, the sign in book, and most importantly - branson. he was no where to be found. but have no fear! i had an apron, so i wouldn't ruin my dress.

ridiculous. i woke up at 3:02am so confused. that's the thing about dreams - it felt so real! for a minute, when i woke up, i really had to convince myself that it was still two weeks away, and it was going to be fine.

but then, in my semi-conscious, confused state, my mind wandered to the thoughts of thing like, is branson not going to show? and i really going to forget something big? am i going crazy? is this some sort of foreboding?

it took me a minute or two to relax and i fell back asleep - only to have a different version of this nightmare! this time, my ring was missing, my dress was dyed pink and some little boy put gum in my hair, so to get it out, they chopped and butchered my pretty hair!

i woke up again at 4:17am.

these nightmares have got to stop!

the good thing is that, in the end, i realize its only a dream... but come on! a girl needs her sleep!

two weeks from now

2008-05-29T09:20:00.003-06:00

exactly two weeks from this moment
i will be in the temple
being sealed
for time and all eternity
to branson.

we will be surrounded by some of the most important people in our lives. others will be waiting outside for us. and others will be at the reception that night. its going to be a great day. i'm so full of anticipation, and excitement, and i'm nervous and have butterflies, but could not be more confident in the decision we have made to get married. and there's nothing like the feeling of knowing you are on the right path.

i'm well on my way to being ready. i've started to do all the last minute stuff now, so when it is last minute, i won't have much to worry or stress about. i've been quite organized. my mom is pleased. and i owe a lot of it to my mom and dad. my mom's encouragement and my dad's eye for detail has kept me on the ball. so thanks, mom and dad. you're the best!

2 weeks
13 days
335 hours
20160 minutes
1209360 seconds

until i get married!

i'm so unbelievably excited!

three amigas

2008-05-28T09:24:00.006-06:00

elizabeth, rachel and i at chili's. not an uncommon event. in fact, i don't remember the last time we went to dinner and didn't go to chili's. its become our "place". now we just need to get the same waiter/waitress everytime so we can just say we want "the usual" - which consists of chips and salsa and then both kinda of molten cake. mmMmm! i'm hungry already!

the three of us went to high school together, kinda rotated through the same groups and ended up becoming best friends. we are all super sarcastic with each other, but we have so much fun together. i laugh more with these two than most people. love them.

our friendship is funny - we can go years without talking or seeing each other, but as soon as we do, we're right back where we left off. we've all gone off and done our own thing, but when we get together we always have a good laugh and enjoy each other's company. they're the best.

friday night, they threw a shower for me. it was really sweet of them. and it was fun to see people i hadn't seen in a while.

so thanks to those two. they are great! and i love them endlessly. they better not cut me off when i get married or i'll be seriously upset. ha ha they wouldn't... or would they? ha ha nah, we'll be friends forever. they'll be surrogate aunts to my children and we'll have set dinner dates at chili's every month or so and it will be great. you can't cut off family right? yes. so since we're practically related, too bad for them. their evil plan is foiled. ha ha!

shanna, elizabeth and rachel
friends forever...
or something like that.

grocery shower cont.

2008-05-28T09:17:00.001-06:00

food! glorious food!

we got so much! it was awesome!

grocery shower

2008-05-23T11:35:00.005-06:00

so on wednesday night, my home ward threw me a grocery shower.

the

greatest
shower

idea

ever!

seriously! it was awesome. so many generous, kind friends and neighbors came and i ended up with more groceries and food and household items than i ever even though existed! i was in awe! and so was brans when we brought it all home. it wouldn't fit in my car, so we packed my parents 12-passenger van. it was full! unbelievable! we'll have a stocked pantry for at least the next year!

i took pictures of all the loot after we piled it on, under and around a table in our family room, but i can't find my cord to connect my camera... so i will post a picture as soon as i can. it was so much! i couldn't say thank you enough! i don't even know the amount of money people spent, but i can imagine it was a lot!

people are so kind and generous. i feel like a thank you card isn't enough to truly express my gratitude. perhaps i will have to make them food with the food they gave me... ?? maybe? probably not. but hopefully people know how grateful we are. honest, truly ..."you're the answer to our wishes... truly scrumptious, you're truly, truly scrumptious..." a little chitty-chitty-bang-bang for you there.

anyway, it was great. i am so blessed and loved - beyond what i could even imagine!

i'll post pictures soon!

exactly 3 weeks

2008-05-22T12:51:00.007-06:00

my cousin jason and cute lizzy got married this morning.

it was the first temple marriage i have been to, and it was amazing!
lizzy was stunningly beautiful and jase was the happiest i have ever seen him. they were both radiating happiness!
if its possible, my excitement to marry branson has doubled!
the experience was incredible and throughout the whole thing, i couldn't help but keep thinking that in exactly 3 weeks it will be me and branson.

exactly 3 weeks from this very moment, i will be sitting down in a beautiful room at the joseph smith memorial building, eating lunch with 60 people who i love dearly. and after that, i'll be taking a nap and getting ready for the reception. but by that time, the most important part will be over. we will be married in the morning - the culmination of both of our lives coming true! i am filled with joyous excitement! i can barely contain it! i just want to shout from the rooftops how much i love branson and how excited i am to be his wife for not only time, but throughout all eternity. i can't help but grin.

3 weeks!

calm and waiting

2008-05-20T12:08:00.003-06:00

well, its about down to 3 weeks... and i gotta say, i am much more calm than i thought i would be. in march, at the start of all of this engagement business, i foresaw me being crazy about this time... completely overwhelmed with everything i have left to do, stressed with the next-to-last-minute details and just getting nervous all together. but that hasn't been the case.

people don't believe me when i say this, but planning is done. finished. the reception is squared away. boys have been fitted for tuxes. branson's ring has been purchased. invitations have been sent out. all that i have left to do is print and frame pictures, bake a mighty big cake and wait.

the waiting is the hardest part. while the big day is only 22 days 21 hours and some odd minutes (i could figure it out if you're truly curious), i want it here now! i'm ready... mostly. will be sooner rather than later.

but still, i wait.

caught off guard

2008-05-19T16:16:00.005-06:00

last night while branson and i were talking
there was a brief pause in the conversation
and he turned to me and said,
"did you know that i think
you will make a wonderful wife and a fantastic mother?"
it caught me off guard. i couldn't help but grin :D

23 days. i can't wait.

preview

2008-05-16T11:41:00.003-06:00

here's a little preview of what is to come and why i love my daddy:

10 reasons why i love my dad
(in no particular order)

1. he is supportive
2. he is super knowledgeable
3. he taught me to know truth and whats right
4. he makes faces with me
5. he is all about the details
6. he has an excellent sense of humor
7. he taught me how to work hard and the value of it
8. he is very talented - jack of all trades
9. he is always willing to help anyone with anything
10. i'm his little girl...

the list could go on and on for eternity

shanna+branson

2008-05-15T13:31:00.018-06:00

compliments of mike lyman photography

snobbery

2008-05-14T09:13:00.006-06:00

i'm a snob.

this isn't the first time i've self-declared my snobbery. and it probably won't be the last either. i've realized that i'm very particular about certain things and the way those things are done. (lately pertaining to a wedding...) i'm not saying that my methods are far superior of others, just that i know what works in regards to some things and am confident in that knowledge.

i've been having an inner battle recently because i've realized the time and energy it takes to explain exactly what i want to someone could be better put to use by just doing it myself. while i am deeply appreciative of the help, i, being the snob that i am, would be less frustrated and less worried if i just did it myself.

this isn't a new thing for me, either. in high school and jr high, there are an abundance of group projects where you are forced to complete and assignment with 3-5 other people. most people love group work - it means less work for them because it is spread out among so many others. except me. i hate group work. for me, group projects meant i left part of my grade up to some one else. which wasn't ok with me. seeing as i held a good gpa (3.8 overall), i wasn't about to leave a large portion of my grade up to some lazy, selfish student who didn't do homework. no way. so more often than not, i would volunteer to do the group project myself. i knew it would be done correctly and on time. the time i would spend otherwise worrying about whether or not it was being done correctly, i spent on the project itself. and i always did well. i enjoyed the satisfaction of that 'A' at the top of the group sheet, as well as the voices of appreciation from the less grade-obsessive students in my group.

so its been something i've always had issues with. and i haven't had many problems with it, truth be told. its always worked out in my favor. until now. when i changed my ways and let the group project out of my hands.

i probably sound crazy, and i'll admit that i'm slightly obsessive compulsive, but lately i've just felt the stress that accompanies relying on others. people have different priorities and different time schedules. which is fine. i understand. but i have my priorities and my time schedule. and waiting on other people and compromising aren't my strong points.

so i reach the proverbial fork in the road. do i do things myself? or do i let others help me? do i step on toes to do exactly what i want? or do i settle on something i don't really like and spare feelings? hm... interesting dilemma. selfish vs appreciative... can i be both? can i appreciate the help, but be selfish about the result? good grief! i don't know what to do. i've begun to freak out about this. and i'm sure it will pass soon, but until it does, i'm stuck at the crossroads. i honestly don't know which is better. although the angel on my shoulder tells me feelings are more important. but i gotta say, i'm starting to lean towards the selfish devil looming on my shoulder. she's much more convincing at this point.

self control

2008-05-13T10:01:00.005-06:00

wedding stress is on! less than a month until the day! i'm truly in disbelief! it feels like it should still be so far away - it seems like just yesterday i was counting down at 93 days... and yet at other times, it seems like its not coming fast enough.

but i seem (at least to myself) to be handling the stress alright. i'm down to the wire almost, but things have gone according to plan, and i think i'm right on schedule. keep your fingers crossed that it continues to go that way. i'm down to pictures mostly. hopefully the invitations will be done this time next week, and i'm taking bridals this weekend. i am so excited!

however, this brings me to my latest quandary. so a little known fact about me is that i tend to eat when i get stressed. i've always been a decent eater - i take after my mom. back in the day, she could eat a horse. in fact, i recall several stories of her out-eating my dad when they were dating and first married.

funny story: so the first time my dad brought my mom home to meet his family, they had a home-cooked meal made by my grandma. my dad is the youngest of 5, and his two older brothers constantly tease anyone and everyone. so apparently at dinner, when they thought my mom wasn't looking the kept loading up her plate. but my mom, being the secretly sassy woman that she is, would just keep eating and eating. she amazed the brothers and got their vote of approval.

digressing, i've always been able to hold my own when it comes to eating. i'm no dainty eater by any means. but when i get stressed, all i want to do is eat. i find strange comfort in food. not like chocolate or usual comfort food. i like heavy meals - multiple courses and variations. so the stress comes and here i come with a fork, ready to feast. its a bad habit. particularly at this time of life. i'm getting married in 30 days. i have a dress that was altered to fit me perfectly - at the time of the fitting. that was a month ago. do you know what happens to a girl who eats when she gets stressed and she's a month away from her wedding? yup. scary thought. a perfect dress, a million photos to be taken, and an imperfect girl. horrible combination. so i'm trying to control myself.

my dad keeps reminding me - in fact, he came into my office this morning to drop something off, and my boss, scott, was standing at my desk, i introduced them, they made small talk and then my dad said this: "don't let her have any candy on her desk. she's got a dress she needs to fit into." thanks, dad. i really appreciate it...

so i'm trying to exercise and not gorge myself due to stress, but i'll have you know it is painfully difficult for me. i've never really believed in diets because i've never needed one. i was blessed with the hebdon metabolism growing up which helped keep me thin. don't get me wrong - i'm still proportionately small, but not as small as i used to be. that blasted bakery and all this stress did me in.

and now i have a deadline.
30 days till hundreds of people see me in my dress.
4 days until i take pictures in my dress for everyone to see.

that's not a lot of time.
now i'm stressed again.
self control and discipline, shanna. self control.
maybe i'll just quit work and go work out everyday.

ha ha who am i kidding?!

self control. i've got this.

my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit. my dress will fit...
--- the power of positive thinking: if i say it 5o times, it might be true... ha ha ha

actual comments from this week at work: "no, i don't want to go to lunch today, coworkers. i have a dress to fit into." "please don't put those donuts on my desk." "no, i don't think an 'all-you-can-eat' is a good idea for lunch."

one month

2008-05-12T10:10:00.000-06:00

i get married one month from today!

31 days!

i can't believe it!

mike lyman photography

2008-05-08T13:02:00.022-06:00

we went and shot some pictures with mike on saturday.
these are some of my favorites!

mike did and awesome job!

isn't this romantic?
it looks like the perfect shot out of a chick flick. aww, branson and i could be a chick flick. ha ha ha

i love it.
the angle.
black and white.
the rain...
(trick: not actual rain.
yup, mike's that good.)
fantastic.

this was my most favorite of brans.
he was actually smiling.
and i'm laughing.
i think its a really cute picture of us both.

and the light sepia mike used on it made it ever better!

don't worry, this one will be blown up in a frame at our reception! i can't wait!

and for the record, the chain didn't break.
i was slightly concerned at first.

branson decided to swing over my head. truth be told, it made me really nervous. so i tried to duck so he wouldn't hit me.

its too bad that his arm is blocking his face, because in my worrisome state, i made a pretty cute face. not to mention how pretty my hair looks! ha ha branson's blasted arm. ruined the picture.

but i still think it looks pretty cool. its got a kinda vintage advertisement look to it. like something you would see in a magazine or as a poster in a subway station or something.

mike did an excellent job with color, too. this brick wall actually was branson's old apartment building. its up in the avenues and had that old brick look to it. we thought it was pretty awesome.

and i love the green plants with the red blossoms. its lovely.

i have a feeling that this is a pretty typical face i make at branson.

once again, i think my hair looks lovely. and its just too bad that you can't see branson's face.

but for some reason, i find this picture endearing and probably very accurate of what we usually look like.

this picture is in dire need of explanation - see, i make this face i call the "muppet fish face" and branson told me to make it, so i did.

branson tried to copy me, but failed miserably. he just looks like he's in pain or dying or something. his face makes me laugh.

so this picture is entitled 'our fish faces'. me, being a muppet fish. and brans being and old fish whose tail fin must have just been bitten off by a shark.

anyway, we had a lot of fun!

mike is a great photographer and he's so much fun to be around. he's one of our most favorites. we owe him a lot. he's the best! he's been a great friend over the past year for me and multiple years for branson. we love him. and his camera. thanks mike!

stress

2008-05-07T11:22:00.002-06:00

the stress has started to hit.

i've had a headache for a while now, and i'm contributing it to the fact i'm doing to many things. i'm working full-time, planning my wedding, making wedding cakes, teaching piano and still trying to make time to spend with branson every day. yikes. after reading that, i realize how crazy i am.

not to mention the fact that i get married in 36 days. yup. 3 6 . that's not very many. i feel like there are so many things left to do. when realistically, there aren't a whole lot. i've basically gotten it down to pictures and sending out invitations. oh and a sign-in book. but i'm working on that. so really, i've done well organizing and getting things done. i'm pleased with myself. but i have recently realized how tired i am, and i'm afraid i might be getting sick because i'm constantly on the go. so after this wedding cake is done on friday, i'm officially going to do everything i can to relax. no big deal, right? its just a wedding... ha ha ha i make myself laugh.

i have to admit, though, its been mostly fun - all of the planning has gone very smoothly and i haven't had too many unexpected things happen, so its been good. even enjoyable at times. ha ha hopefully the trend will continue and everything will continue to run smoothly. i can only hope.

but blast this ridiculous headache, making me just want to sleep and not do anything! its dampening my plan! go away headache! i don't need you... oh well, looks like exedrin is going to be my good friend today...

red mango

2008-05-06T15:58:00.003-06:00

more people in the world need to learn customer service. particularly girls at rocky mountain chocolate factory today. i'll just leave it at they were awfully rude and inconsiderate, not to mention unprofessional for someone who could have given them a lot of business.

____________

on a completely unrelated note, i highly recommend red mango to everyone. it is absolutely delightful. its a little frozen yogurt shop - i went to the one in fort union today. its actual yogurt frozen. it tastes like vanilla yogurt. not frozen yogurt sometimes confused with ice cream, actual yogurt. it is delish! i am already craving more and its only been a few hours... not a good sign.

they have different sizes and the original is the only way to go as far as yogurt goes. but then they have beautifully delicious fruit to add to it, as well as other fixin's such as graham crackers, chocolate chips and other good things. what makes it even better is that it is better for you than ice cream - the small size is only 90 calories. now, i'm not the girl who counts calories, by any means, but only 90 calories and its delicious? a definite find, if i do say so myself.

weekends

2008-05-05T10:16:00.002-06:00

weekends just aren't long enough.

because really they are only one day long. saturday. that's it. sunday is church and family day. friday isn't really the weekend, because you still have to work all day. so saturday is really all there is to a weekend. and how can you be expected to get everything done that you need to in one day? can't. impossible.

this 'weekend' was branson's birthday. and i made him the best chocolate cake he has ever tasted. aren't i nice? ha ha

in the morning, we went and took engagement pictures with our photographer slash mechanic slash good friend mike. it was a lot of fun. i haven't seen the pics yet, but as soon as i have a digital copy, i'll post them for everyone to admire. smile. it truly was a lot of fun. brans was in kindof a goofy mood which made it more fun. so we laughed the whole time. it was fantastic.

then we went to pf changs (best lettuce wraps ever) for lunch as a birthday/thank you lunch with mike. and then we made an appearance at kadee's graduation party. so by that point, our day was shot.

no laundry got done. no cleaning even thought about. and no time for planning either.

i need another day of the week where i don't have to work and can just run errands. with a few of my friends graduating, i've realized what a blessing it is that i took this semester off. i've been so busy without school. if i had finals the past two weeks as well? probably be dead i would. (a little yoda phrasing for the star wars fantasmagorics of the world) good grief! i'm already losing my mind just thinking about it.

so lets consider this a disclaimer, shall we? if i seem absent-minded, or focused on other things, its with good reason. "i've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and guilder to frame for it; i'm swamped." false. but i do have wedding cakes to make, my wedding to finish planning, wallpaper to take down and walls to paint and so much cleaning to do, i don't want to think about it. i really am swamped. but i'm sure it will all turn out fine.

i hope it all turns out fine.

may day

2008-05-01T14:30:00.002-06:00

may first.
austin's birthday. also, wendy and maygen.
becky and andy's wedding anniversary.

and today there's snow on the ground.
snow! on may first! Its supposed to be well into spring, not winter! what's the matter with this climate that i live in? seriously. i woke up to a layer of white gloom covering everything outside. i wanted to cry.

blasted snow. all i have to say is that if this may snow doesn't bring june flowers, i'm going to be irate.

6 weeks and counting

2008-04-29T15:55:00.003-06:00

6 weeks and counting! i can't believe how fast the time has flown by! there's still so much to be done! but on the other hand, i think i've been super productive and organized. (at least that's what i've been told.)

i'm so excited!

today my sisters' dresses will be finished.

this weekend we're taking engagement pictures.
next monday i will have my dress back.
next week, the final reception details will be figured out.
in two weeks, i'll have bridal pictures...

man. its getting close! i'm thrilled! (and a little nervous...) but mostly excited.
44 days...
here we come.

organization process

2008-04-29T14:49:00.000-06:00

so we painted our room - almost completely. i still have to do the built-in bookshelf, and the closet doors.

but we're well on our way to making it "ours"! we've started to move things into the kitchen and the organization process has begun. its a little crazy and chaotic, but exciting at the same time.

_______________________

in other news, only 44 more days! i'm so excited! its gone by so fast! almost too fast at times. but things continue to come together, and it will be here before i know it!

abc's tag

2008-04-25T09:32:00.004-06:00

apparently tags are the cool thing to do. and due to my faithful daily blog reading, i've been tagged for the second time. so here goes:

a. attached or single? very much attached to branson! :D

b. best friend? my mom, austy and brans (obviously). honorable mentions include: stu, elizabeth, kadee, angie and kiley, and alex & sarah - they all know me the best.

c. cake or pie? either as long as its not chocolate. but a nice lemon or strawberry rhubarb pie is always good.

d. day of choice? saturday if there's not a lot going on. but always sunday. sundays are never bad - time with family, church, sunday dinner. seriously, what's better than that?

e. essential items? chap stick, gum and my phone

f. favorite color? green

g. gummy bears or worms? i feel like i can eat more bears because they're smaller, but truthfully i think gummy worms taste a little better. (yes, bears and worms taste different. trust me.)

h. hometown? salt lake city

i. indulgence? i'm afraid there are too many to list. but i'm a sucker for lemon bars and on a non-edible level, tv series like alias, the west wing and friends. i get way into them.

j. january or july? truth be told, neither. i'm gonna say june. january is too cold, and july is too hot. june is always nice. hopefully june 12th will be perfect...

k. kids? no not yet. i have to get married first! then in a couple years...man! i'm gonna have cute kids! ha ha

l. life isn't complete without? brans and my family.

m. marriage date? june 12th! hooray! 47 days and counting...

n. number of brothers and sisters? 5 brothers. 2 sisters. soon to be 1 sister-in-law and 4 brothers-in law.

o. oranges or apples? if the choice is between a red apple and an orange, i'd take the oragne for sure. but if its, say, a gala or granny smith apple, i'd take that. but clementines are better than both.

p. phobias or fear? i'm afraid of ice cream trucks. i'm also claustro- and agoraphobic.

q. quote? "if music be the food of love, play on." - shakespeare

r. reasons to smile? a million. but to list a few (or like 20...): branson, mom, daddy, austin, taylor, bryson, tanner, braden, brindy, pieface, shannon, harold, kendyll, brad, wesley, dane, chad, blake, piano, sunshine...

s. superman or wonder woman? superman. he's more attractive to me. and he's superman... nothing tops that.

t. tag 5 people: angie, christie, frances, mckensie, teresa

u. unknown fact about me? i am double jointed in all of my fingers except my thumbs. and i taught myself how to play the organ when i was 13.

v. vegetables? i love all vegetables. except radishes.

w. worst habit? probably procrastinating and going to bed really late.

x. xray or ultrasound? ultrasound. they're much cooler. when i was sick in 9th grade, they did an ultra sound to figure out what was wrong with me. it was pretty cool.

y. your favorite food? i have so many things that i love to eat. but the top 5 right now are: creme brulee, sushi, sukiyaki, chipotle burritos and lasagna.

z. zodiac sign: aries.

tagged with pet peeves

2008-04-24T15:23:00.005-06:00

**note: i apologize, before you read this, at the length. i got a little carried away.**

i've been tagged. christie tagged me to list my pet peeves. but truth be told, i'm a little uneasy about it. i have this deeply embedded fear that as soon as people know about them, they go out of their way to do them around me. so here's hoping that doesn't happen.

in no particular order, here are my top 10:

1- recycled air. this may sound ridiculous - isn't all air recycled, shan? no. i mean air directly exhaled out of living things. particularly humans and dogs. you know, when its warm air and is right in your face. i hate that. it makes me want to drowned in a sea of boiling lava. that's how much i hate it.

2- disrespect. particularly to people who deserve it the most. like parents or teachers, church leaders, etc. (i must admit i'm guilty at times, but not very often, and usually not entirely on purpose.) but in the past few years i've noticed it more than ever. people don't show respect and it really, really bothers me. especially to parents and teachers. you parents gave you so much your whole life, and you repay them by showing them no respect? nuh huh. that just doesn't fly with me.

3- swearing. i know a vast majority of the populated world uses some sort of profanity in their daily speech, but really? aren't the other words you could say? i just think it makes people sound unintelligent. if you can think of a better way to describe something or how you feel than with select 4-letter words, you seriously need to expand your vocabulary. seriously. go pick up a dictionary and read it until you have better verbal options.

4- incorrect alignment of things. i hate when things aren't straight. pictures. books. lines on a piece of paper. you get the gist. i'm slightly ocd about it. i have this need to fix it if it isn't straight. its a curse, really. however, this curse seems to leak out into other areas of my life, thus making me a fairly tidy person. (i have my moments of slobbery, but in general i'm pretty neat.) just do me a favor, when you hang pictures on a wall, or draw a map for someone, make sure they're straight. or i just might go insane.

5- when other people think they are more important than other people. for example, at my job, i answer the phones, but frequently find my calls interrupted by my fellow league staffers. they come up to my desk and just start talking loudly. i just look at them, holding up a finger to signal them to wait a minute while i finish my current call. but they just keep on talking, apparently thinking that that finger signal i gave them meant "please talk louder". its so distracting and then the person on the phone wonders whats going on and the remainder of my call consists of my grumbling how stupid and ignorant people are. its really just no good. who's to say they are more important that whoever i'm talking to on the phone? i mean, come on. wait a minute for me to finish and then you can yap in my ears. grr... it irritates me so much. have a little patience and courtesy, seriously.

6- ear touching. ever since i was little, i have hated people touching my ears. there's not a logical reason for it. i just don't like it. it really bugs me. in fact, in 8th or 9th grade, my friend johnny thought it would be a funny idea to sneak up behind me and touch my ears. little did he know, i was an excellent karate chopper. he flicked my ear, and right as he started laughing, i swung around and hit him in the chest and kicked his knee - completely out of reflex! so don't mess with me - "i know karate" (classic line from 'while you were sleeping' - thank you joe jr.)

7- squeaking sounds. like chalkboards or old brakes. hate it. it makes my ears hurt.

8- fake people. although i used to be quite good at it, i hate when people pretend to love you. there is a distinct difference between being polite and being fake. its polite to be courteous and not rude to other people, but that doesn't mean you have to be their best friend. in high school, i was surrounded by a few people like that. they were your best friend when no one else better was around... yuck. just be polite... not fake.

9- snow after february 15th. winter should end on valentines, snow should melt on the 15th and then summer should last from the middle of february until the beginning of july. i hate cold weather at the end of april - its supposed to be warm! its spring, for crying out loud. so no snow after valentines.

10- poor volume. i hate when things are too loud or too quiet. there IS a happy medium for sound. people talking on the phone shouldn't yell, but shouldn't whisper either. music in public places should be loud enough that patrons can hear what song is playing and easily recognize it, but it should be soft enough that said patrons can have a normal-volumed conversation. concerts should not blare noise out of speakers just to prove how loud the speakers can go. if the music is too loud, you can't enjoy it. its painful. and while we on the subject, why at every concert do they want the guitars and everything else louder than the vocals? i know that was a generalization, but i've been to a fair amount of shows and it seems to usually be the story - the bass and guitar have to drowned out everything else, even the drums! now, this isn't an attack on either of those instruments. i just so happen to love the guitar and the bass. i just also love pianos (when present in bands) and vocals. what's the use in writing words and singing them at a show if the audience can't hear them because the guitar is much too loud? dumb.

now that i've gotten my top 10 irritations (as of late) out, here are my top 10 things that bring my joy:

in a very particular order:

1- my family: daddy, mom, austin, tay, brysey, tanman, braden, brin, and pie face. they have always been my favorites and will be forever. i have the greatest family ever! we have our quirks and weird family idiosyncrasies, but we have so much fun together. always. my favorite memories are either around our dinner table laughing together, or trying to read scriptures or have family prayer but get so caught up in laughter we all end up crying on the floor because we laugh so hard. i love it.

1- (yes i know there are two #1's, but due to recent events in my life, i couldn't put branson and #2, now could i?) you guessed it, branson. he is my utmost favorite. i love him so much. and i'm so excited for these next 48 days to pass so he can be mine for eternity. he is so great to me and i can't think of anything i'd rather do than be with him. just the other day, he came to my house with a cup-full of tulips he had picked out of his yard for me. how sweet is that? it made my whole day.

sidenote: branson's family is also included in #1. they have quickly risen to my favorites as well. i know i haven't known them long, but i'm so grateful they are also mine for eternity and i'm looking forward to spending more and more time with them as their new daughter and sister in law. and i'm super excited to be an aunt! i'm sure wesley will warm up to me sooner or later... ha ha

3- the temple. i love the temple. nothing compares to the feeling inside the temple. it can't be duplicated anywhere else. and can't fully be described in words. but i love it. and can't wait to go again. i need to go soon! (this one also includes my love for the gospel, and the church of jesus christ of latter day saints... thanks to which, we have temples. so its all inclusive.)

4- playing the piano. although lately i've been frustrated at my level of skills. i have seriously lost part of my talent, but i'm slowly getting it back. practice makes perfect, right? right. but i love being able to sit down and play. i love reading a piece of music for the first time and knowing that i can read it and play it right then and there. pianos are such great instruments. they're so versatile - from classical to jazz to pop to rap songs that include piano. great. i love it.

5- cooking. i love making food for other people. i love the satisfaction of making something, having other people eat it, and knowing how good it is. i love it. i mentioned this a week or two ago when branson and i had chad over for dinner and he basically licked the creme brulee pan clean. that made me so happy. it bring joy into my life to make other people happy with food.

6- extended family. our family is quite unique in how close we are. my best friends are my cousins. that's how its always been. we all get along quite well and have so much fun together. ping-pong tournaments with 20 people crammed in one room, running around yelling, "paddle head! paddle head!" ha ha or just gathering together for some good food and good chats. my family is great.

7-good friends. i have great friends. i've made a lot of friends throughout the years, and most have moved away or i've left behind. we probably don't keep in great contact, but when big life events happen, the lines of communication are always open and people are notified and allowed to catch up a bit. these are the people who have helped me grow - i've had a lot of great examples in my life to look up to.

8- perfect fitting jeans. in this day and age, everyday it seems to get harder and harder to find jeans that a) fit well and b) are modest. its so hard! i'm so short that i have a hard time finding jeans that are the right length. they can't be too short - they have to cover my shoes. but they can't be too long, or i trip. so you can imagine the complexity of my jean shopping excursions. along with the length, i'm picky about color. i hate blue blue jeans. i prefer really dark washes or really really light ones. none of this medium blue-ness. so you can imagine my joy when i found the perfect pair of jeans yesterday. they are zana di jeans and are a dark stonewash. they're fantastic.

9- good music. lately, a lot of minimalistic jazz - madeleine peyroux and melody gardot are my current favorites. can't get enough. but also noteworthy (ha ha i made a joke): big bandish jazz - i.e. michael buble, harry connick jr, ella, frank, the classics. acoustic jams. chill pop - i.e. jack johnson, colbie caillat, donovan frankenreiter, missy higgins, paulo nutini. i love it all.

10- sports. i really love watching a good sports match. baseball particularly, but also basketball, football and soccer. lacrosse and rugby also make the list. i love a good competition between two good teams. like say the angels and the red sox. (angels beat the red sox today 7-5, bytheway. yay!) a good baseball game, a bag of peanuts or seeds, a tall glass of water, and i'm set. take me out to the ball game. i'm ready.

melody gardot

2008-04-22T11:21:00.000-06:00

amazing.

at 19 she was hit by a car while riding a bicycle.
the injuries sustained left her with the need now
to wear dark glasses and carry a cane.
her doctor believed in the power of music therapy
and encouraged her to pursue music
so she recorded an ep from her bedside entitled
"some lessons - the bedside sessions"

but man, the girl can jam.
she's incredible and truly inspiring.
and beautiful.her melodies

bosch universal plus

2008-04-21T12:55:00.003-06:00

i have the greatest parents in the world. i believe i have mentioned that a few times before.

my whole life, i have always wanted a bosch mixer. my mom had one. grandma had one. carlene and kiley used one... i just wanted one of my very own when i grew up.

well, as my wedding present from my parents (along with my wedding and all the money they are forking out...) they gave me the bosch universal plus 800w mixer.isn't it lovely?! i love it. its so sleek and powerful! I can't wait to really use it! last night they let me open it (i'm making two wedding cakes in may and they thought it could be useful for that...) and then suggested i make smoothies with it for everyone.

it works like a charm. i can't tell you the great joy that fills my soul when i hear it working. seriously. i think i giggled. ha ha

but now i have 4 different kinds of whisks/paddles: the wire whip, the batter whisks, the cookie paddles, and the dough hook. i can make anything! ha ha its so exciting! i can't wait. branson's going to love this present the most - he gets to reap the benefits.

i can't thank my parents enough. they're so great to me. maybe the first thing i make should be something for them. yes, good idea, shan. but now, what to make...

ready to go

2008-04-18T16:05:00.000-06:00

anyone else hate friday at 4:00pm like i do? its the longest hour of the whole week...

4:01pm...

4:03pm....

4:04pm...

seriously. will this work day never end?
i'm ready to bail. in the immortal words of john denver...

"all my bag are packed, i'm ready to go..."

sharing a car

2008-04-18T15:01:00.000-06:00

so branson and i are sharing a car...

did i mention that branson and i are sharing a car? hm... its mostly hard because we work at different ends of the valley.

but on the plus side, i get to see him every morning before work, and he picks me up from work every day.

i can't wait until our sharing a car doesn't consist of picking each other up in the morning or dropping each other off at night... it will be much better when we leave from the same house every morning.

and he better know that this is a telltale sign of my deep and devoted love for him... i don't share cars. in high school, sharing a car with my brother austin caused quite the rift between us at times. so brans, feel special. i must love you a lot...

(laughing quietly to myself...)

harassment

2008-04-18T12:07:00.001-06:00

if one more person i work with gives me crap about getting married, etc... i'm gonna go insane!

seriously... you would not believe how often someone harasses me about it. please make it stop!

rusted fingers

2008-04-18T08:35:00.003-06:00

yesterday marked a moment i've been waiting for for far too long. my piano was fixed!!! hooray! the hammer broke on b flat a while ago, but i haven't had time to get it fixed. but yesterday, my piano tuner anne came out and fixed the hammer, re-glued some of the notes and tuned it. it sounds lovely! i was so excited to sit down on that turquoise bench and play that turquoise piano like it had never been played before...

branson made fun of me a little bit - he said i was like 5 years old again; wanting to help and watching anne's every move, shooting off eager glances at her every minute. i can neither confirm nor deny those accusations, but i can say i was absolutely thrilled when i got to help out.

as soon as she left, i rushed over to it, wanting desperately to tickle those ivories. however, after i sat down, i realized how truly out of practice i've gotten. i'm awful! it was a rude awakening. although, i should probably clarify - i'm still alright. i haven't lost complete dexterity in my fingers, i'm just not as quick as i once was. my fingers are rusted. i just haven't used them like i used to lately. but, now that my piano is fixed and that i am living under the same roof and don't have to play at someone else's convenience, i'm going to get back to where i was. a step above average. that's what i'm aiming for. cause right now, i'm just at average. man, i used to be so good...

let the practicing begin! i'm so excited!

last night after anne left, i played for close to 2 hours. poor branson. he was probably bored. but he humored me and sat and listened to me the whole time. it made me happy. (even though i was hitting wrong notes left and right...)

but the sound of this piano is phenomenal! its such an old piano - the board was cast in 1904. over 100 years ago! and it sounds great. its got that vintage, old, full sound. i am in love with it. and its in great condition. the pins weren't ever doped (back in the day, people used to put a lubricant of sorts on the pins to get them to move easier, but it would rust the strings after a while) which is great. every thing is wood... i'm proud to say there's no plastic in my piano. (a lot of new pianos are made with plastic pieces. some say that the plastic is more durable and is better, blah blah blah. newsflash: its not.) and its fairly clean, considering how old it is.

now i want to go play some more... blasted full time job that keeps me from my piano during the day. boo...

santiago chile north

2008-04-17T08:52:00.004-06:00

i can't fully express how excited i am to have two brothers out on missions. my brother austin (as previously mentioned) will be in toronto, canada. and branson's brother chad got his call last night to the santiago chile north mission. two different hemispheres... crazy! but i am so excited for both of them.

last night, we met up with brad, kendyll and wesley and we all went down to provo to see chad as he opened that white envelope. he lives in the dorms, so we were crammed into the common room with, what seemed like 50 byu students. in reality, there were probably only like 15 or 20, but it felt like more. but it was cool to see how much support chad has down there. he is quite the popular kid... girls were all over him (i have to laugh at myself for a minute - when all of these different girls were hugging chad, crying, etc... i found myself taking on the role of "the older sister", which is what i am, though i'm not sure that's how chad sees me. i'm probably just his brother's fiance. anyway, i found kendyll (who's the oldest and only girl in their family) and myself sharing expressions and wondering who were these girls? what are they doing all over chad? are they good enough for chad? etc... it was funny to me. but its only because i love chad like my own brother and i just want the best for him...)

it was fun to spend time with brad and kendyll. i love them. kendyll and i get a long really well, and i'm so glad! i was a little nervous when first meeting her - what if she didn't like me? or what if i didn't like her? but i think this is the start of a beautiful sisterhood. i can't wait to spend more time with her!

anyway, yay for missionaries. chad is going to be a great missionary. i'm really excited for him. and i'm so excited for austin. my two brothers on missions. they'll be great.

god bless those 19 year old boys...

moving

2008-04-16T10:16:00.000-06:00

so monday marked the start of our move. and by our move, i really mean my move. branson will move in june. however, we moved over all my stuff monday night and then spent last night moving boxes from room to room, trying to get somewhat organized.

now, don't let this lead you to believe that we are close to being done working, because that would be a silly, silly lie. we have so much to do! last night i started cleaning what will eventually be our room. when its done, it will be awesome, but currently, its dusty and dirty and gross. it was an old family room that kinda turned into a storage room for a while - with old bookshelves, cedar chests, futons, chairs, books, books and more books, and other stuff. but, it has a fire place, two windows, two closets and is a rather large room. it will be delightful. i just need to finish cleaning, paint the awful wood panels a lovely shade of white, and scrub the fireplace.

i feel slightly like cinderella.

sidenote: when i was younger, i'm not sure why,
i distinctly remember my baby brother braden singing (in a very gusgus like voice),
"shanna-relly, shanna-relly, night and day its shanna-relly,
make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, do the mopping"

anyway, its fun, though. i'm so excited to be finished. we'll paint this week hopefully, and then can go from there. its so exciting! we have a home! i think our biggest project will be the bathroom, however. it needs SO much work. essentially new plumbing, new shower walls, a new sink, new flooring (its got lovely pink carpet at the moment, complimented by the lovely lavende-colored walls. branson loves it. ha ha just kidding.), as well as shelves. and a deep clean, might i add.

man, good thing i like to clean. i've got my work cut out for me.
but i can't express how excited i am to bask in the joy of a clean, new-to-me house. i'll be sure to put up before and after pictures. its going to be unrecognizable.

bill of rights

2008-04-16T09:43:00.013-06:00

so every once in awhile when i check my email, an article on the side catches my eye. for some reason, an article entitled, "the wife's bill of rights" was what caught me this time. its pretty entertaining - i found myself laughing quietly to myself a few times... so here are the highlights:

the wife's bill of rights

by jill adler

preamble: "we, the wives of america, love being married to the husbands of america. we know we have our faults, but with our ever morphing roles these days, there's a lot of pressure on us to be superhuman. we care for our families, manage the home, keep ourselves attractive, and even bring home our share of the bacon. we know we sometimes las out, but we really do want to 'live happily ever after' with you. our mutual acknowldgement of these amendments can go a long way toward achieving that"

"amendment III: we have the right to demand you finish a household job... if you wash the dishes, do them all and clean the sink, too. don't just bag the trash, take it outside to the bin. if you start a load of laundry, put it in the dryer and fold it too. we don't like nagging anymore than you like hearing it."

"amendment VII: we have the right to keep and bear tons of girly bathroom products. you have your tools; so do we. these items are enpensive and to be used sparingly. it brings no joy to see your $15 bath bar shrunk down to the size of a quarter after two passes on your chest and legs." ha ha ha

"amendment IX: we have the right to flirt. not the kind that makes you jealous, but the healthy practice of connecting with another person on a non-sexual level. light banter is fun, quick-witted, and encouraging to our self esteem. it might even remind you of why you fell in love with us. and if it gets us a smokin' deal on that new furnace or a free stay for the family at a million-dollar ski chalet, so much the better."

others include: the right to keep small secrets like hair color and lame tv shows we watch, the right to talk to our girlfriends every day, the right to be grumpy once in a while, and the right to clean air. (for the whole article, click here.)

but, gentlemen, do not be disgruntled. you have your own bill of rights as well. here are the highlights from that:

the husband's bill of rights

by craig playstead

"preamble: we, the husbands of america, do not claim to be perfect. we're far from it. while we love being married to the wives of america, we have a few things that we'd like to straighten out. we're not asking for the world here. we understand that things like following our college football team to every away game is out of the question, as are after dinner cigars. however; there are a few minor things that we'd like to clear up to make our marriage a happy one."

"amendment II: we reserve the right to dislike your friend's husbands. we promise to give the guy a fair shot, but when he starts acting like a moron, we can no longer authorize events with that family. and yes, wives have the same freedom to blackball when the tables are turned. it doesn't mean we like your friend any less, it just means that... we don't want to spend our rare time off with them..."

"amendment III: we have the right to have a few things of ours in the house. everything we hold near and dear to us shouldn't all be in the garage. while we understand that our framed KISS concert poster might not make it on the living room wall, at least throw us a bone. the scene in 'juno' where jason bateman realized that everything he held near and dear was in a 200-square-foot room was a gut-shot to us all."

"amendment X: we have the right to still use chivalry. yes, we know women are strong and independent, and we dig that. but allow us to open the door for you, or give up a seat and act like a gentleman once in a while. the world will be a better place because of it."

others include: the right to watch the big game, the right to not be scolded like children, the right to have as much bathroom reading material as we need, and the right to teach our children how to defend themselves. for the rest of the article, click here.)

ha ha i'm laughing again! i can't help it. the writers were very clever, and i have to admit, i think both sides have valid points. and like it says in the wife's preamble: our mutual acknowldgement of these amendments can go a long way toward achieving that happily ever after we've all dreamed about.

so here's to understanding
and working towards that 'happily ever after'

sunday dinner

2008-04-14T14:13:00.005-06:00

so last night we decided to have branson's little brother chad over for sunday dinner. after church, i made a fresh garden salad, a delicious pot roast with red potatoes, carrots and green beans on the side and my most favorite thing, creme brulee, for dessert.

after i stuck the pot roast in the oven, we ventured down to provo to pick chad up (aren't we nice? i think so...) and then got back in time for dinner to be ready about 30 minutes later. it was so fun to hangout with chad. he is one cool kid. he is currently at byu, finishing up his freshman year. he gets his mission call this wednesday. i'm so excited for him! it will be cool having two brothers out serving missions - my brother austin, who will be in toronto, cananda. and chad, wherever he's going. i can't wait to find out. its so exciting!

anyway, i had decided to have dinner at the house (sidenote: we are having a hard time coming up with a name for it. while its still my grandma's house, we have kinda a hard time calling it that. i mean, she lives next door. that's 'grandma's house' now. but we feel kinda weird about calling it 'our house'. but i guess if we're living there, it kinda is our house minus the financial ownership. ha ha we'll figure something out. but i guess for now i'll just call it 'our house'.) then we wouldn't have to worry about disturbing mary and brad who were having dinner at the condo i currently live in. so 'our house' it was.

it was so nice! we set the table with nice plates and glasses, and for a minute or two, it felt like our home. branson and i love our house and we are so excited to live there. i've been excited to live there for years, but yesterday was the first time i finally felt the first little feelings of being in our own home. shanna and branson's home. aww...

dinner was great. the food turned out well. the pot roast wasn't one of my best, but still was decently delicious. but the hit was the creme brulee - chad had never had it before. before dinner, i let him help brulee the top with my torch. i started out doing it, but chad looked so interested, so i asked him if he wanted to try. he was hesitant at first, but then was excited about it. branson took over for a minute and chad made fun of him, pointing out the spots branson was missing. ha ha it made me laugh. but when it came time to eat it, chad basically licked the plate clean. he loved it! i was thrilled. it was the best one i've made yet.

and i decided that nothing is better than sunday dinner with family. here's to many more...

happy birthday

2008-04-11T08:52:00.008-06:00

yesterday was my birthday - and what a birthday it was!

i spent most of the day with branson. i needed a new drivers license (mine expired yesterday) so we went to the drivers license division in sandy and then went and picked out tuxes for our wedding.

fyi: they're gonna look good. so just know that out of the 13 men in tuxedos, the one who will look the best is getting married that day, two have been off the market for 20+ years, two are going into the mtc during the summer and are off limits for two years, two are date-able - their names are taylor and blake - check them out, one is a 14 and wishes he was date-able but alas he is not, one is 12 and already has 6 girls chasing after him, so you'll have to take a number or just knock out your competition, and one is 10 and will be the one greeting you at the door. when you see him, say something along the lines of "braden, you look good!" it will be fantastic.

and last but not least is the cutest of them all...
the dreaded pirate roberts. thats right. wesley.
he'll be the little boy running around in a tux.
i can't wait.

after that, we met branson's sister kendyll at cafe rio for lunch. i just adore kendyll. she is so cute! and so nice. truth be told, i've always been nervous about having a sister-in-law. what if she didn't like me? what if i didn't like her? that would be unfortunate. but fortunate for me, i am getting the best sister-in-law ever! i couldn't ask for a better one than kendyll. she's great. i'm so lucky!

after lunch, we went back to my place and watched a few episodes of the west wing (if you didn't catch by now, i took the day off of work. and it was totally worth it) because we had a little downtime. i ironed a dress and we watched the episode where president bartlett gets sick and has an "episode" (if you watch the show, you know what i'm taking about. and if you don't, well, too bad for you because i'm just gonna leave it at that and if you're truly interested and promise to take good care of the discs, i'll let you borrow them. maybe.)

and now on to the best part of the day. better yet, the best day of my life.

so i'm getting married in june, right?
and my brother leaves on his mission the week after, right?
right. so we both, at some point, needed to go through the temple. so we talked to our bishop and stake president and cleared it with them to go together and do it on my birthday. and can i just say that it was the best birthday present ever! it was such an amazing experience. i can't even fully explain how wonderful it was. and not only was i with my brother, but a lot of people that i love also came. my grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles were there, my cousin kiley came down, my cousin jonny and my cousin kathy, our good friends alex and sarah, our south carolina chef mock too. but most importantly,
branson was there with me.

i can't tell you how overwhelmed with joy i was when i walked into one of the rooms and saw my family there waiting for me. it was the most amazing feeling. i definitely saw a glimpse into heaven. that's what it will be like. me and my family and the people that i love. yup, that's heaven to me.

i wish i could think of the words to express how i felt. but i'm afraid my vocabulary is much too limited to do so. just know that it was the best day of my life. and that it couldn't have been better.

after the temple, we went to dinner at sizzler. taylor brought the rest of the kids and we rushed in right before it closed. it was nice to be there with the rest of my family. i love them. seriously. i have the best family in the world. we all took full advantage of the salad bar and all-you-can-eat shrimp and ate too much. and then went back to my parents house.

i just have to take a minute and say how much i love my parents. i know everyone loves their parents and thinks their parents are the best, but i really think mine dominate everyone else. they are so generous and kind. they do so much for everyone! ask anyone who knows them, they'll tell you that they are great. see, its not just my biased opinion. anyway, they are so good to me and i will be forever in their debt. i owe them basically everything. i'm so grateful for them and i hope they know how much i love them and am so glad that they are mine forever!

on top of everything else, they had gotten me a few presents: the long awaited, thought-it-would-never-be-published, amazing transcripts of george winston. now, if you don't know who george winston is, i highly recommend that you find out. he is a phenomenal pianist. i'm not lying when i say he's one of the best. and trust me, i know good from great, and he is quite great. (and part of the excitement is due to the fact that the man has not ever published sheet music or anything. any songs of his i play are because i learned them by ear. so you can imagine the joy i felt when i saw the actual notes!) i'm so excited to play his songs! (and guess what?! my turquoise piano is already in the house we're going to live in... so i'm even more excited. playing george winston on my turquoise baldwin upright grand... can life get better than this? i submit that it cannot! ha ha ha) but not just that - my parents also bought me a knife. not just any knife, though. a cutco knife. but not just any cutco knife. the santoku knife. i have been in love with that knife ever since i saw our south carolina chef mock use it when he made us dinner. he swears by that knife, and so do i. and now i have my own. i'm in love with a knife. ha ha.

basically it was the most amazing birthday ever. i couldn't have asked for a better day. and to top it all off... it felt like spring! it was sunny and fairly warm most of the day.

just another way it was a great day.

happy birthday to me.

disclaimer

2008-04-10T23:46:00.000-06:00

official disclaimer:

when i said thanks to my good friend sarah, i neglected to mention her husband alex, who originally got my hooked and in love with the west wing. so what that sentence meant to say was this:

"thanks to my good friends sarah and alex
as well as to the negligence of the post office,
i was given the complete boxed set. its awesome."

sorry, al.

the west wing

2008-04-08T11:28:00.007-06:00

so recently, branson and i have gotten hooked on the west wing.

last summer when i got my wisdom teeth out, i went through the first four seasons in like two weeks. i love it. i got addicted real fast. but then i got busy and didn't have time to finish out the other 4 seasons.

but - thanks to my good friend sarah,
as well as to the negligence of the post office,
i was given the complete boxed set. its awesome.

so branson and i started from the pilot the other night. and we absolutely love it. its one of my favorite shows! its fun to watch together. we curl up on the couch, pop in the dvd and can watch a whole disk in one sitting. i guess time flies when you're having fun! and what's more fun than the inner workings of the west wing on the big screen, however fictitious they may be? and the best part is - branson loves it just as much as i do.

evening tv

2008-04-03T14:05:00.004-06:00

have i mentioned that i love branson lately?

well i do. a lot.

last night after work and a doctors appointment (which was an interesting experience - i'll leave it at that.) branson came over for dinner. i had picked up dragon diner chinese food on my way home and we enjoyed dinner together, a common thing for us. (for the record, i can't look at fortune cookies the same... none will ever be as good as the one at the jasmine... :D ). after dinner, we sat down and watched the news for a minute, and then watched wheel of fortune and jeopardy. its like we're already married and watch game shows in the evening together. ha ha i never thought i'd see the day.

we also watched super-nanny - a show where a british nanny comes into american homes and helps teach mothers how they should be dealing with their children. its amazing to me how ridiculous some of the scenarios are. some people's mothers, honestly. anyway, while we were watching, i fell asleep, surprise, surprise (i always fall asleep - i think that there are waves of sleepy-ness that come out of tvs and into my brain, making me fall asleep... cause seriously! it happens everytime. i can recall one movie we've watched in the past month or so that i haven't fallen asleep during. sad, sad life. you'd think i were getting old or something. but i'm not really... interesting. hm...) and poor branson, he just sat there watching tv. i'm horrible, i know. but what can you do? and branson still loves me - even through my somewhat narcoleptic episodes.

anyway, he's just so great and i am so excited
to have him all mine for eternity.
69 days... i'm sure it will be here before i know it.

no joke

2008-04-02T09:04:00.001-06:00

for the record, no, getting the house was not an april fool's joke. its the real deal...

the house

2008-04-01T12:54:00.003-06:00

good news! scratch that - GREAT NEWS! my grandma is going to let us rent her house! my childhood dreams are being fulfilled! i'm so excited!

when my grandpa died of leukemia about 4 years ago, my grandma shortly came to the conclusion that the house was too big for her to live in alone. so she started to rent the duplex next door. (by some strange coincidence it was up for rent at the same time she decided... it was a pretty awesome deal) anyway, grandma moved next door and left the house vacant - it was already paid off, the only expense being utilities each month. so grandma decided to keep the house as a place the family could all gather and have family parties and also as a place people could stay when they were in town.

i had decided that one day i would live there. my mom bought her grandma's house, so why shouldn't i carry on the tradition and buy my grandma's house? i thought it was a great idea.
so after talking to branson and my mom about it, i finally presented the idea to my grandma.

she was so excited and so cute! she was thrilled that we could go to relief society together and that someone would be so close to take care of her and help her out when she needed it. also, she was excited that someone would be taking care of the house and the yard. i love grandma! she's so cute.

anyway, i couldn't be more excited! all i want to do is go move in right now! paint the walls... play my piano (this is a big deal: i have a turquoise baldwin upright grand piano... yes, its truly turquoise. totally rad. anyway, my parents didn't have room for it, so it was put in grandma's house. and has been patiently waiting for me til now! ha ha), move in our furniture... i'm so excited! hooray!

official

2008-03-28T10:52:00.000-06:00

its official! the ring is on my finger!

june 12th in the salt lake temple

yay!

proposal

2008-03-28T09:30:00.004-06:00

so yesterday, as with many other days, branson called me at work and said he wanted to go to dinner. i thought it sounded like a good idea, so we ironed out the details and decided to go to the jasmine (after going through a few other options). but it sounded really good, so after work and piano lessons, he met me at my house. we went over to the restaurant, and i was not expecting anything.

to backtrack: on wednesday night, we went to go pick up my ring. its a tension setting, so resizing it takes a long time because the band is custom fit to the diamond... so we had to go in and make sure it fit before he just gave it to me. lame. so we went in, tried it on - it fit perfectly! i didn't want to take it off! but he made me. and told me i could have it next week. after monday.

needless to say, i was pretty sure he would keep it all weekend just to spite me.

so we ate dinner, had an excellent time and then the waitress brought out the check with two fortune cookies. see, i don't really like fortune cookies, and i never eat the whole cookie. i take out the fortune and give the other half to branson. and that's precisely what i did. but before i got a chance to do that, he stole the one i had out of my hands! "i want that fortune!" he said. "you always take the good fortune away from me! if i get a bad fortune, you're in so much trouble!" was my reply.

i broke the cookie in half, set the other half on branson's plate, and started to unfold me fortune, when something caught my eye. there was something in the other half of the cookie! (i'm mildly embarrased to admit that i had no idea what it was. seriously! my first thought was that is was some pebble or something - who knows what they really put in fortune cookies? good luck pebbles from china? you don't know! its possible!) anyway, i grabbed at the cookie, desperate to find out what it was. (i'm sure branson was just laughing at me the whole time... but he saved face. i was impressed)

i broke the cookie open to find my ring! hooray! i couldn't help but nod my head... YES! i was so excited! i looked up at branson and he said, "shan, read your fortune..." so i unfolded the tiny piece of paper to find these words:

Shan, will you marry me?

i just giggled and looked at him, nodding and saying yes - i was so thrilled! i really had no idea! it was fantastic! it wasn't a big scene, although there were lots of people around. but we were sitting in a booth kindof separate from the others. it was absolutely perfect! i loved every moment!

we kissed and laughed and talked and waited for the waitress to come pick up the check. she smiled as she walked over to us, saying "congratulations" when she got to the table. i was amazed how he did it! in a fortune cookie! how rad is that!

i asked him how he did it - how he got it in the fortune cookie and arranged the whole thing. he told me he had called our friend chelsy (who works at the jasmine) the night before and said, chels this is my idea, can you help me do it? so chelsy talked to her boss and they arranged the whole thing and it was smooth sailing after that. it truly was perfect! i couldn't believe it!
i was... still am so impressed!

during dinner we decided we would maybe go see a movie (part of his plan to throw me off... which worked very well, btw.) but he was very non-committal about the movie, saying we didn't have to see it that night. i didn't understand why until after. but, smart man that he is, he knew i would want to go show my mom immediately. i wasn't the only one being tortured those two weeks. ha ha. so we went and showed my family, called his mom and then went to the xi cottage (branson's house). josh and jason were there hanging out and they wanted to see, so we talked to them for a little while, chelsy came over shortly after and told me all about how they made it work. she was so cute! she was so worried someone was going to ruin it and say something to me. but they didn't and it couldn't have been better.

after we talked to everyone (nick and kadee came home, and later mike face and stu came over as well), branson and i made our way downstairs for a little alone time. he was so sweet the whole night - not like sicky-i'm-up-to-something sweet, but genuinely sweet because he loves me. we talked and kissed for a while and then he said that he knew it was official before, but the ring sealed the deal. it filled whatever was missing before. things were different now. there was now proof of the commitment. it was sweet. i love him.

anyway, so that's my story. i liked it.
and i'm so excited to marry branson!
only 75 days, 23 hours and 30 minutes until i can!

hooray!

good news!

2008-03-28T08:48:00.006-06:00

good news! after over two weeks of waiting, i'm finally not being tortured anymore!

I'M GETTING MARRIED! To Branson! Hooray!

isn't it pretty?

its just perfect!

i am so excited! truth be told, we've been officially engaged for a few weeks -
with a temple date and almost everything planned,
but now i have a ring
and it is very much official!

and i love branson. so much.

torture

2008-03-27T10:25:00.003-06:00

i'm being tortured.

cruelly and unusually. t o r t u r e d.

might as well tie me up, lay me on the floor, and drop water on my forehead - one drop at a time spanned over several hours. i think i could handle that better than this blasted waiting game.

...

2008-03-26T13:03:00.017-06:00

...

antici...pation

2008-03-26T09:42:00.004-06:00

oh and be excited, btw... i've got lots of good stuff!

ha ha ha ha

apology

2008-03-26T09:38:00.002-06:00

well... so many things have been going on, and i haven't had time to update the blogging world. so consider this my formal apology:

i'm sorry.

updates will be along shortly...

family news

2008-03-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

so branson and i decided to get married. we went and looked at rings and branson found the perfect one... but it takes 10-15 days for it to be made and shipped back to the store. so we decided to keep our unofficial engagement kinda secret. we just didn't have a story of how he asked, or a ring to show for it... so we decided not to tell a lot of people. but the hebdon family birthday party was on saturday and this is how we decided to let them know:

when i told my siblings that branson and i were going to get married, the responses were quite different from each of the 7. and braden's was my favorite. we were sitting in church, and everyone else knew, but knew not to say anything yet. the meeting ended and i leaned over to braden and said, "i have to tell you a secret... branson and i are getting married." he looked at me with huge eyes, kinda asking for confirmation and then punched his fist into the air and said, "I'M GETTING A NEW BROTHER!!"

cutest thing i've ever seen.

so my mom and i were trying to figure out the best way to announce this at the party during our 'family news'. (sidenote: at every family party, we go down the line of families, announcing anything new or noteworthy - usually marriages, new babies, moving info, graduations, baptisms, etc... anything really) so we decided then would be the best time. all the families would be there or at least represented, so we sat patiently through the family news and waited until they got to my mom (who is the 6 out of 7). she announced that austin had received his mission call, that bryson just finished the play at evergreen and then said, "and braden has an announcement..."

braden looked up and said "i'm getting a new brother on july 12th!" and i kinda tensed - "its june" i whispered. mom corrected him and said, "i think its june 12th, brade." "oh yeah! i'm getting a new brother on june 12th!"

all eyes turned immediately to my mom who has been known to keep her pregnancies a secret until she was insanely far along - with pie face, i think she told people in september and she was born in november. so she's good at hiding it. so instantly, people were a little upset slash happy to hear it. my mom, the great actress that she is, just stood there for a minute and smiled, laughing to herself. then said, "not me... i'm not pregnant... shanna's bringing a new brother into the family. branson and shanna are getting married on june 12th."

people were a little relived and when they put it all together, were really excited and came over and congratulated us.

but i can't tell you how hilarious it was to see the look on some of their faces! ha ha i wish i had pictures! priceless.

but now its out, slowly but surely, and the world is starting to find out our little secret... but technically its still not "official". there's no ring on my finger. and he hasn't "asked" the question. but in reality it is. we're getting married on june 12th. we have a temple date and everything else squared away. the reception site is booked, the luncheon is also. the dress will be bought this week, etc.

but still no ring. apparently it takes eternity to make.
good thing that's how long i have with branson.
ha ha

and who knows? maybe its just burning a whole in branson's pocket and he wants me to be surprised. we shall see.

love

2008-03-17T13:18:00.001-06:00

in the immortal words of buddy the elf...

"i'm in love! i'm in love! and i don't care who knows it!"

big hits

2008-03-16T19:46:00.003-06:00

so the utah league of credit unions hosted the annual meeting for credit unions this weekend. the decor was amazing - our graphics guy tom is the champion of art. it looked incredible! the theme was old 20s and 30s movies/hollywood theaters... it was a great idea.

except for our uniform/costumes.

thats right. this is what we looked like. dancing monkeys. we had the red vests, red bowties and they even made us hats. (the fact that we all refused to wear them professes how truly awful they were.) just the vests looked fine. however, we soon realized that women's white oxford shirts were not crafted for ties. most of the women's shirts only had buttons to their collar bone, so we couldn't button the top to make it work with the bowtie. someone suggested we just wear them as a choker, but as soon as we did we suddenly had the urge to deal cards at a blackjack table in vegas, or to serve drinks (also in vegas), or as one of the committee members put bluntly, "join chip 'n dales". ha ha we all got a good laugh out of it as we tossed the bowties aside and went on our way to make credit union employees feel like they were having a truly magical movie theater experience.

that being said, the meeting was a success. we heard nothing but praise.

just pray that next year our outfits are not comparable to a monkeys.

march

2008-03-06T11:12:00.002-07:00

march... yikes. this year is already going by too fast. too many things are going on and too many decisions need to be made... its enough to make anyone hate the month of march.

however, great things also happen in march. just to name a few: easter with goldenrod for breakfast. (one of my favorite family traditions. its a hebdon thing. it consists of toast with a white cream sauce with hard boiled eggs in it. MmmmMmmm i love it.) st patricks day, also, many friends and family members birthdays. speaking of, today is my brother taylor's birthday. he turns 17. which is truly weird for me. i know i'm only almost 21, but i feel old. in my head i picture him 12 years old. weird. 17... agh! anyway, today also happens to be gramps' birthday. blaine orion hebdon. what a man. he passed away my senior year of high school due to leukemia. he would have been 81 today.

march also brings my favorite two week long sporting event. (next to the world series... well, actually side by side. i love them both) MARCH MADNESS! could not be more excited. i love it. there's so much love in the game and its always entertaining. i love the upsets. i love filling out brackets. i love watching ncaa ball. love it. seriously... l o v e i t. i can't wait.

and apparently march also means making decisions. i have lots of things to think about... and slowly but surely, i'm figuring things out. actually, a lot quicker than i would have thought.

but on that note, happy birthday taylor and gramps. and happy march madness to all, coming up. march should turn out to be a fabulous month.

c-o-u-n-t-e-r-f-e-i-t

2008-02-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

at the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee...

we are fearless spellers who love scary words.
we're the nerds with the dictionary on our knees...

and we find we love spelling! it makes us feel normal.
we love spelling...

i love my dictionary, and i love the indented border. every word's in alphabetical order,
ergo, lost things always can be found...

i achieve my goals. so unfazed am i as my life unscrolls unamazed am i. winning is a job and i get not real enjoyment but je peux parler six langues. carda idio maes simple. jerro oh yo no reshipe no yesashesades. ja gavaru shetz yatzukim. v'ani yodat shalom. im noch mindesterns sieben mehr. i speak six languages. i am sick and tired of always being the best and the brightes at every mass. six lousy languages and for my height i'm the lightest of the girls in my class.

chimerical. c-h-i-m-e-r-i-c-a-l. highly unrealistic, wildly fanciful.

on tuesday, branson and i went the the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee. its a relatively new musical (2005 i think) and it was hilarious. so funny! a few unnecessary parts, but the music was fantastic and the acting was excellent. i was not disappointed.

part of my excitement for this was due to the fact that i was in the spelling be. i remember it vividly. 4th grade. i was awesome. people were amazed at a) how little i was and b) how great i was at spelling. it quickly came down to 3 of us. me, heidi and heather. heidi and heather were both in 6th grade - much older and supposedly smarter than i, a feeble 4th grader. but i gave them a run for their money. but i swear i always got the hard words. no joke, the word right before i got out was testimony. ridiculous.

the 3 of us spelled and spelled and spelled our little hearts out, for a good 15 or 20 minutes - we all kept getting the word right. finally, it was my turn.

the word is 'counterfeit'.

no need for a definition, i knew what it meant. i didn't even need it used in a sentence.

c-o-u-n-t...
e-r...
f...
then the tricky part... i before e? e before i? which is it?
and my poor, dyslexic 4th grade brain said the wrong one. although as soon as the letter came out of my mouth, i knew it was incorrect.
i-e-t.
counterfeit.

unbelievable. i've never been so mad! i didn't even wait for the judge to tell me it was wrong. i walked off the stage as he said, "i'm sorr..." i was gone. it was expected that you sat with your class after you were eliminated, but i was so upset that i went out in the hall and paced back and forth for the remainder of the bee. (which was really only 2 or 3 minutes) my mom came out and told me how proud she was that i made it so far, etc, trying to console my shattered 9 year old heart. but i was still upset.

truth be told, to this day every time i hear the word 'counterfeit' i have to spell it under my breath. c-o-u-n-t-e-r-f-e-i-t. counterfeit.

important vs urgent

2008-02-25T09:45:00.004-07:00

i love to see the temple. and yes, i'm going there someday.

when? i'm not sure yet. but i know i'm going.

the words of one of my favorite primary songs say it best:

i love to see the temple. i'm going there someday
to feel the holy spirit, to listen and to pray.
for the temple is a house of God, a place of love and beauty.
i'll prepare myself while i am young - this is my sacred duty.
i love to see the temple. i'll go inside someday.
i'll covenant with my father. i'll promise to obey
for the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together.
as a child of God i've learned this truth - a family is forever.

so lately i've been feeling the pressure. big time. for a lot of things. school. work. finances. relationships. e t c . so on saturday i decided to go sit at the temple. not do any ordinances or anything. simply sit and take in the feeling there. so i did. and it was phenomenal. i just sat in the waiting room for a few hours. watched people come and go for several weddings (i saw 6 brides come out in the time i was there... busy day at the temple). and i was calmed. my mind was cleared. the questions in my mind weren't necessarily answered, but i think i realized what did and didn't matter. as a good friend of mine says:

put the important things first, and the urgent things second.

its important to realize what really matters and what you can put off and worry about later. and sometimes the things that need to be done now aren't necessarily the important things. but we get so caught up in them that we forget some of the important things. but i think that perspective was something i needed to remember. and being at the temple helped me do that. its so lovely there. i don't go there enough.

pressure

2008-02-22T12:31:00.003-07:00

under pressure... by queen. that song has been stuck in my head all morning. seriously, i can't get rid of it. so instead of focusing on the important things at the moment and figuring things out, i'm singing, sat on a fence but it don't work, keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn why, why, why? love love love love love. insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking, can't we give ourselves one more chance? why can't we give love that one more chance? ...under pressure... under pressure...

unbelievable. i'm going crazy. i feel like the whole world is throwing things at me left and right. and i'm too stressed and can't find my focus enough to figure out where i need to start. how do i decide what is the most important and what comes first? good question, shan.

maybe it doesn't matter? perhaps, wherever i start will suffice, i just need to start, and pray for help. yes, that sounds like a good plan. now, where to start...

Called To Serve

2008-02-21T08:56:00.014-07:00

after 19 years of anticipation and 2 hours in the van with our family and branson, the moment arrived. we drove down to a rest stop in spanish fork, where we waited for austin and the price girls to come meet us. every car that passed was disappointing. but every pair of headlights was encouraging. we counted cars as they passed, until finally, a little silver car pulled into the parking lot and the intense excitement grew! they jumped out of the car and we had everyone pile into the van - nice and cozy! austin went over everyone's guesses as to where he was going to go and said whoever was the closest in mileage would get a steak dinner.

you can't see it too well, but you can hear just fine in this little video clip...

CANADA TORONTO WEST!
i couldn't believe it. but as he read the words i knew it was perfect. he's going to be such a great missionary. *tear* and i'm going to miss him so much! *sniff*tear*

it was quite an emotional experience for me. and i'm trying to pinpoint exactly why...
i was so overwhelmed - that my brother was actually holding his mission call and was called by the Lord through President Monson to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

my little brother's going to canada!

truthfully, a small part of me was almost jealous. for the past few years i've tried to envision that moment, when the mission call came. and i usually saw myself sitting next to austin, holding a white envelope myself, waiting until his excitement settled and then carefully opening said envelope to reveal my own mission call. ever since i was 8 years old, i've wanted to go. and i still do. someday. but as i sat there and watched him open his call, it was made very apparent to me that that wasn't my calling. i have other things to do, and that i have to serve in a different way. but serve nonetheless. it was the first time in my life i felt like i had been hit by a ton of bricks. it was almost like a slap in the face. granted, the past 6 or 7 months, my mission aspirations have been greatly hindered by a boy i like to call branson, making me really evaluate whether or not i should go. and since then its been a question in my mind. and now i know.

i'm not going to wear a black name tag. i won't go to a foreign country to serve my brothers and sisters in the gospel. i'll have a different way of serving. member missionary work. being a mother someday (though not in the near or foreseeable future at the moment). i'll be more like my mom and serve in every capacity that i can. church callings, being a good neighbor, etc.

and i think i'm gonna be ok. its funny how God answers our questions and lets us know what the true desires of our heart are.

along with my soul searching, mildly jealous state, i was so excited. austin is going to be the best missionary out there. seriously. the. best. i'm thrilled for those toronto-ans. they won't know what hit them - or maybe they will... a book of mormon, the gospel, baptism perhaps...

but i will say one thing - sending him off will be the hardest, most bittersweet thing i've ever done up to this point. not sure i'll be able to handle it all that well. i'll be a wreck the whole month of june. and i'm hoping that i can spend some time with him before he reports to the mtc on june 18th. he is in price until sometime in may and then a month later he's gone for 2 years. 2 years! that seems slightly like forever. but i'm sure it will fly by.

Elder Austin James Ashcraft. Called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Canada Toronto West Mission. Report to the Provo MTC on June 18, 2008.

the first of the ashcraft boys to go on a mission. the start of a dynasty... 10 consecutive years of missionaries out in the field. i can only imagine the blessings my family will receive.
go bring them in, boys.

special delivery

2008-02-20T15:37:00.004-07:00

IT CAME! IT CAME! THE MAIL FINALLY CAME!

mom called me crying a minute ago and said through tears, "i'm holding a mission call in my hands"

ok. so maybe i shed a tear, too. and i'm sure i will shed many more within the next couple hours.

MY LITTLE BROTHER IS GOING ON A MISSION! I AM SO EXCITED! I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN THE JOY IN MY SOUL! OH MY GOODNESS!

*tear* we're going to meet him in spanish fork for dinner. he'll come half way from price and we'll go half way from salt lake. man, emotions are flying all over the place! *tear* *smile* *tear*

to be continued...

nothing yet

2008-02-20T14:21:00.002-07:00

still not here.

dumb.

postal

2008-02-20T13:35:00.002-07:00

service, that is. I am sitting at work, talking on the phone to my mom, waiting for her to yell, "THE MAIL IS HERE! THE MAIL IS HERE! ITS HERE!!!"

but alas, no mail yet. its afternoon. mail should come in the morning. because why should perfectly nice people like me and my family have to wait all the dang day for the mail to come?! right. there's no good reason. it should be here.

but i'm so anxious! its almost like its my own mission call to come. except its not mine. its austin's. but its the first mission call out of at least 5 in my family. its so exciting! i can't wait! literally...

i'm gonna go postal if it doesn't come soon...

Branson

2008-02-19T09:52:00.008-07:00

this is branson and i.
aren't we cute?

this picture sums up our relationship about 93% of the time. brans says something and i laugh. aaww... ha ha. we have a lot of fun together. i just love him.

HOW WE MET: on may 5, 2007 stuart smith and i went to a party at, what we didn't know then was referred to as, the xi house/cottage. the room was packed. i sat on the floor leaned up next to a couch. some kid in a yellow baseball shirt was sitting on the couch and i kinda brushed his leg as i sat down and immediately apologized. then said, "hi, i'm shanna." he told me his name was branson. but the kid sitting next to him was named bronson - i knew bronson really well from high school. so i said, "like bronson?" and from there the conversation led to talk of how people never say names right, and branson calling me stephanie.

the next time i saw him, was july 3rd. i was kinda interested in josh johnson, who ended up being branson's roommate. josh invited me over and we lit fireworks and went to iceberg for shakes. and from then on, i started hanging out more and more. and on july 16th josh invited me to come see 'live free or die hard' with him and a couple people. branson was one of those people. but he was grumpy and in a really, really bad mood. so as we were walking in to the theater, matt ericksen said, "shanna, you have to sit by branson." and i was not convinced i had to. "and you should kiss him. maybe then he won't be grumpy." they all laughed and i was slightly confused but didn't really make a big deal of it. i did, however, end up sitting next to branson. and throughout the whole movie, he made comments on how unrealistic and implausible the movie was. and it made me laugh hysterically. and that's how we became friends.

but the clincher is when danielle haga invited a bunch of people to a party. it was august 7th and there was a giants vs nationals game on. i showed up and went downstairs to watch the game - it was the night barry steriod bonds was going to potentially hit his 756th homerun - breaking hank aaron's record. baseball history. and i wanted to watch it. so i did. branson and mike and spencer jacobsen and bronson watched it, too. and i was intruiged by branson. throughout the night, we talked here and there, but eventually we all wound up different places. i went outside to the deck at one point and i sat down at a table. somehow, branson wound up sitting next to me. the conversation with everyone turned into a byu bash fest. and branson and i expressed the same opinion on byu, defending it kinda. we made eye contact and talked to each other a little more, and brans said, "we should be best friends. bff's even." i agreed and was in a mildly giddy state.

then he threw a 2 liter bottle at my head. that's not entirely true. he went below the deck and was messin' around and threw a bottle up, but it hit me. then i milked it and made him feel bad. ha ha.

anyway. things started to progress between us. i started coming around a little. and branson was determined to bring me out of the anti-social shell i had created for myself since moving home from byu. one night, september 1st, i believe, branson invited me to go up the canyon with a bunch of people. we went, but had a fiasco with getting a site and some crazy lady tried to regulate, it was ridiculous. but we ended up ditching everyone and renting 'the holiday' and watching it. we didn't cuddle, though i tried to make it clear i wanted to. but after the movie was over, we got caught in a pillow fight, where brans actually hit me in the face on accident. this makes me sound like one of those girls caught in an abusing relationship - hit with a 2 liter bottle, punched in the face... the abuse drew me near. ha ha just kidding. but for the first time ever, i stayed out until 2am with him that night laughing and having fun.

and that was the start of something great.

after that, we started hanging out all the time. and the first time i was positive he like me was the night i moved into the condo with mary. he called me and said, "let celebrate!" so i got ice cream and headed over to his house. now, branson has weird issues with dairy products and refuses to share them with other people. particularly ice cream. but i took ben & jerry's ice cream over and he shared with me. that's when i knew.

the next week, on september 10th, he took me to the rilo kiley/modest mouse concert down at uvsc. it was a great show, and we danced a little and i fell asleep on his shoulder on the way home (in the back of the car - kadee was driving). the next week, he convinced me to go down to vegas with everyone for the unlv vs utah game. i did and branson and i were inseparable the whole trip. i had to come home early to get to a conference at work, and while i was at the zermatt for my conference, branson came up to visit. stu and brans drove up one night and we just chilled. it was a lot of fun and i was thrilled that he would drive all the way up to midway just to see me.

and from there on out, we've had so much fun together. we've had a few rough times - my illogical anger and stupid freak outs have been somewhat trying at times, but we've worked past everything that has come up. and now i love him and can't really imagine life without him.

shanna and branson.
has a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

no pun intended.
ha ha ha

lasagna

2008-02-17T09:15:00.005-07:00

what a cute little multi-tasking chef i am! ha ha

what a fantastic meal! mandi and i decided to make lasagna, rolls, and the most amazing salad ever. it was delicious. and oh so much fun, too!

my recipe for the lasagna is really easy - just time consuming. but here it is:

1 pound ground beef
1 chopped onion
2 (6oz) cans tomato paste 1 egg
1 (14.5oz) can crushed tomatoes
2 cups water
1 tablespoon oregano

2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons salt

1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon sugar

12 oz cottage cheese
1/2 cup parmesan cheese

9-12 lasagna noodles
1 pound mozzarella cheese, shredded

1. Brown onion and ground beef. Drain. Mix with tomato past and crushed tomatoes, water, oregano, basil, garlic powder, salt, pepper and sugar. Cook on medium until boiling. Simmer 1 hour.
2. Blend cottage cheese, parmesan cheese and egg until smooth.
3. Boil pasta in lightly salted water for 8-10 minutes. Drain.
4. Preheat oven to 350*

5. Spread 1 cup sauce in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan. Cover sauce with a layer of noodles and 1/3 of remaining sauce. Top with 1/2 mozzarella. Place another layer of noodles and sauce over the mozzarella. Top with cottage cheese mixture. Top with remaining noodles and sauce.

6. Bake for 30 minutes. Sprinkle remaining remaining mozzarella on top and bake 15 more minutes until golden brown and bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes.

playing mom

2008-02-15T10:02:00.005-07:00

so for my dad's birthday, which is known to the rest of the world as valentines day, by parents decided to go on a little trip. my dad won a nights stay in some luxury sweet in a hotel down near price. they showed us pictures last night. it was insane, and ridiculous how luxurious this thing was.

1700 square feet. 3 fireplaces. a heart-shaped jacuzzi.
a waterfall running into said jacuzzi. etc.

ridiculous. but it was nice for my parents to get away. its the first time in 22 years they have left all of us kids just to go out of town for a couple days. the only overnight stays during those 22 years were spent in a hospital, where another sibling was born. so it was long overdue. but now that the lot of us kids are somewhat independent - at least in the sense that we can dress, feed and take care of ourselves, its easier for them to leave.

not that that made it any easier for my mom to leave. i'm sure a few tears were shed as they pulled away. and not to belittle any other mother's love for her children in any regard, my mom has made it very evident that she loves us. any one who has that hard of a time leaving her children has to have a deep, deep love for them.

so the motherhood responsibility was relinquished to me for a couple days, while at the same time, i was still living my independent, working full time, 20 year old life. and may i just say, working full time and motherhood do NOT mix. its exhausting! I couldn't believe how truly tired i was at the end of the day. now i know why parents generally force their kids to bed relatively early - so they can go to sleep after the crazy long day! which is all i wanted to do as soon as the sun went down. i'm just hoping and praying that when my days as a mom roll around, i'll be in a situation where my husband will be able to provide for us, so i can stay at home and nuture our kids.

sleep through the static

2008-02-06T15:57:00.000-07:00

So I will cook all your books
You’re too good looking and mistooken
You could watch it instead
From the comfort of your burning beds
…Or you can sleep through the static

Who needs sleep when we’ve got love?
Who needs keys when we’ve got clubs?
Who needs please when we’ve got guns?
Who needs peace when we’ve gone above
But beyond where we should have gone?
We went beyond where we should have gone

jack johnson.
brilliant.
go listen and sleep through the static.

bring your pie face to work day

2008-02-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

so its my parents anniversary today. 22 years. with so much sadness and divorce in the world today, i can't help but applaud my parents. *clapping* horray for their undying love for each other and for each of their children.

daddy called me last night and asked me if i could take care of the kids this morning - waking them up. getting them ready, taking them to school, etc - so he could take mom to the temple. sweet... so i did, but since pie face is not in school yet, she got to come to work with me.

she was so excited. for some odd reason, the girl loves to come to the office. perhaps because i take her to wendy's and let her watch movies on my laptop all day... anyway, she was ready and willing to help me this morning - she stuffed envelopes, sorted papers, even helped file things. she's like an intern, only we pay her with food.

but she started to get bored, so she pulled up to my laptop and said, "i wanna play a game." i told her i didn't have very many games, to which she responded, "yeah you have spider solitaire... see?" and she pulled in up in a window. this girl is seriously technologically savvy. it blows my mind. i don't even think we had a computer until i was in the later years of elementary school... 6th grade maybe? anyway. this girl is so smart. i can't stand it. so she starts playing spider solitaire and knows how to click on the mouse pad of a laptop to make it work just right. she's brilliant.

and oh so adorable... even when she is making weird faces.

whisper like the holy ghost

2008-02-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

Brindy was baptized on Saturday morning. How exciting! It was great. Except for one thing -the lack of my voice.

Brindy called me earlier in the week and asked me to speak on the Holy Ghost at her baptism. I prepared a decent talk and prayed that I would be able to talk louder than a whisper. But apparently, my voice served as an object lesson. The Holy Ghost doesn't yell. It whispers. Just like me. So only the first few rows could hear what I said... but I guess that's alright. Brindy's the one that mattered.

It was a nice meeting though. There were so many people there. Family. Friends. Neighbors. The room was packed. People had to stand in the back - there was not enough room. Pretty cool to think that many people love Brindy, as well as my family. It was neat.

An hour after the baptism, President Hinckley's funeral and grave service were broadcast in the chapel. So we stayed and watched that. Great meeting. It was as nice as a funeral can be. There was laughter, tears and the Spirit was strong. It was really nice.

And this morning, the Church held a press conference, announcing the new First Presidency. President Thomas S. Monson was announced as the Prophet, with President Henry B. Eyring as First Counselor and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf as Second Counselor. I have to admit that I thought that President Uchtdorf was a very likely candidate and I was thrilled when I watched him walk in behind President Monson. I am very excited to see where this new Presidency will take the Church. I wonder what the focal points will be - President Hinckley was so focused on Temples and the Perpetual Education Fund. I wonder if they will continue in that direction, or if there are other important issues they will focus on. I'm excited to find out.

attempted robbery

2008-01-31T15:20:00.000-07:00

so apparently someone stole the passcode to the alarm system to the credit union and called and put the system into 'test mode' - which means the system can't work for an hour.

now why would a person put the system in test mode if there wasn't an ulterior motive? right. they wouldn't. so as of this minute, our building is in lockdown.

no one goes in. no one goes out.

the thing about my desk is that its out in the open. its the reception area. there are no doors to go through to get to my desk. so they made me move into a locked office. and here i sit. hoping the battery on this notebook doesn't die. then i would be super bored.

cough

2008-01-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

(the following are actual events. all coughs are recorded
and inserted when actual coughs took place.)

there's nothing worse than a cough.

*cough*cough*

ridiculous. i have the weakest cough on the planet. probably due to the fact *cough* that my lungs stick to my ribs and cause excessive *cough* amounts of pain... yep. that must be it.

*cough* *cough*

nonetheless, i sound like a *cough*cough* doped up mouse. and it annoys me to no end. i've been *cough* coughing all day and all *cough* night for the past 48 hours.

*cough*cough*cough*

bring on the menthol-eucalyptus drops.
bring on the nasty cough syrup.
anything to make me stop coughing.

*cough*

We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet

2008-01-28T09:22:00.001-07:00

We thank thee, O God, for a prophet

to guide us in these latter days.
We thank thee for sending the gospel
to lighten our minds with its rays.
We thank thee for every blessing
bestowed by thy bounteous hand.
We feel it a pleasure to serve thee
and love to obey thy command.

When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us
and threaten out peace to destroy,
there is hope smiling brightly before us,
and we know that deliverance is nigh.
We doubt not the Lord nor his goodness.
We've proved him in days that are past.
The wicked who fight against Zion
will surely be smitten at last.

We'll see of his goodness and mercy.
We'll praise him by day and by night,
rejoice in his glorious gospel,
and bask in his life-giving light.
Thus on to eternal perfection the honest and faithful will go,
while they who reject this glad message
shall never such happiness know.

As most of the world knows by now,
our beloved Prophet and President of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away last night.

I was at Branson's house and got several phone calls and text messages with the news. Initially I was peacefully heartbroken. But the more I heard and the more I thought about it, the more I was filled with joy! What a great blessing it is to know the plan of salvation. To know exactly where he went and who he was with. And what a magnificent reunion I'm sure it was between him and his life-long sweetheart, Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley. What a perfect match! I want to be like her. She is one of my heroes. And one day, when I'm old, someone will love me like President Hinckley loves her.

I have had the privilege of being in President Hinckley's presence more times that I think I deserve. But a few of my favorite memories are those times around him. I have been to multiple sessions of General Conference and can never shake the overwhelming feeling of "This man is called of God." When he walked into the room the spirit manifest it so strongly. The hush that falls. 21,000 people on their feet, not making a sound. That's incredible. The choir stands and sings, "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet" and I am completely overwhelmed. Its the most incredible feeling in the world.

But my favorite is after the close of the meeting, when he gets on his feet. The organ is blaring postlude music and lame people start to leave. But the ones who linger are blessed to see President Hinckley's smiling face as he leaves the stand. He looks up, smiles and waves his cane. Not just once, but three times. And those lucky saints who decide to stay are humbled and blessed to see such a cheerful servant of the Lord.

I love it. You couldn't help but smile and laugh quietly to yourself at what a cute man he is.

When I was almost 9 years old, I was asked to sing in a choir for the Centennial of Utah. It was 1996, and President Hinckley had been a prophet for less than a year. The program was long and I was antsy to leave, but one of the choir directors who was a family friend, pulled me aside and said, "Shan, the First Presidency will be in the north west corner of the building. Go shake their hands!" What 9 year old girl, let alone anyone, would pass up that opportunity?! I made my way over, but had to wait in a line. For being 9 years old, I was fairly calm and collected, and waited patiently.

It was finally my turn. "I get to meet the prophet!" I remember saying that over and over again in my head. I looked up to see President Hinckley's smiling face, standing next to President Monson and President Faust. They each shook my hand, but when I got to President Hinckley, he firmly shook my hand and looked into my eyes.

"You have the cutest smile I have ever seen," he said, while I turned as red as the stripes on the flag behind me. I mustered a shaky "Thank you, President Hinckley," and he looked over at President Monson and said, "She is going to be a great missionary someday, wouldn't you say?" President Monson nodded in agreement and I was speechless. All I could do was smile. I was beaming.

I love President Hinckley. He has been the prophet for a large portion of my life. 13 years. Incredible. I am going to miss hearing him in General Conference, as well as his cute shaking hands to emphasize a point in his talks. But I am thrilled to see what President Monson will focus on as prophet, seer and revelator. What a brilliant successor. It will be great.

"This is a time to be strong. It is a time to move forward without hesitation, knowing well the meaning, the breadth and the importance of our mission. It is a time to do what is right regardless of the consequences that might follow. It is a time to be found keeping the commandments. It is a season to reach out with kindness and love to those in distress and to those who are wandering in darkness and pain. It is a time to be considerate and good, decent and courteous toward one another in all our relationships. In other words, to become more Christlike.""It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.

It all works out. Don’t worry.

I say that to myself every morning.

It will all work out.

Put your trust in God,

and move forward with faith

and confidence in the future.

The Lord will not forsake us.

He will not forsake us.

If we will put our trust in Him,

if we will pray to Him,

if we will live worthy of His blessings,

He will hear our prayers."

President Gordon Bitner Hinckley 1910-2008

weather

2008-01-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

it
is

f
r
e
e
z
i
n
g

c
o
l
d

and i'm sick of it. yeah snow is great during the holidays, but one can only take so much of it. i'm ready for spring. i think that it should snow from thanksgiving til january 15, but after that it should be warm - spring! and it should stay warm until july when it can be hot but then again in august it should cool off to just warm until halloween. then from halloween til thanksgiving it can gradually get cold enough to snow. but never colder! none of this 3 degree weather. that's just sick.

Order

2008-01-16T12:28:00.001-07:00

The order of the Priesthood is pretty cool if you ask me.
It is especially awesome when all of the boys slash men
in your family hold the authority.
Braden is only 10 and isn't old enough,
but is preparing for the day when he is!
Tanner is a deacon.
Bryson is a teacher.
Taylor is a priest.
Austin is an elder.
Daddy is a high priest.
Grandad is the patriarch of my family.

SIDENOTE: Grandad doesn't smile in pictures. He generally has a stone face. But occasionally I'll catch his smile and it is phenomenal! I love it! So when they were taking this picture, I turned to Grandad and said, " You have to smile in this picture. You're much cuter when you smile." And it made him laugh. And he smiled. And isn't he cute?

What a good looking group of men. I love them.

gamblin'

2008-01-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

So here's something I don't get... Gambling. Sure, I'm down with trading cookies or services of some kind (appropriate ones... what were you thinking??) But when it comes to down to money... I just don't get it. Why would you throw away money like that?
You only have such great odds to win... And this may be
the molly mormon in me... But the prophet
said not to. And he wouldn't say it for no reason.

But whatev. If you deem gambling as kosher, then who am I to argue? I'm just a girl who doesn't understand the rules of texas hold 'em and hates losing money on a hand of cards.

mild concussion

2008-01-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

concussion: \kən-ˈkə-shən\ (n.) a stunning, shattering or damaging effect from a hard blow; a jarring injury to the brain.

etymology: 14th century Middle English concussioun, from Latin concussion-, concussio, from concutere to shake violently, from com- + quatere to shake.

symptoms: headache, lightheaded, nauseous, dizzy, blurred vision, etc.

story: i was walking up a flight of stairs and branson said something to me so i turn around to look at him, but i caught the corner of the dropped ceiling above the stairs and hit my head (mind you i've never had to worry about hitting my head there... i'm too short. its never been and issue. and i wasn't wearing tall shoes. but i was just at the right angle on the stairs), whereupon i slid down the wall in pain. i grabbed some unidentified food product out of the freezer and placed it on the enormous bump on my head. it was bitterly cold and eventually started to thaw. so i switched it out with a bag of peas that i'm most certain have been in that freezer longer than i've been around. disgusting.

all fine and dandy. i was a little tired and had a wicked headache but was ok. until i was at work the next morning. i couldn't stay awake. and my vision was slightly blurred. but i took some drugs and felt slightly better. until i was at the institute last night and got hit in the face again. i got really dizzy and felt really fatigued. bummer.

so here i sit. with no energy slash motive to get anything done here at work. i think i may go home and sleep it off. just what the doctor would order, right? "i went to 12 years of medical school to tell you to sleep and drink lots of water." i'll pass on the doctor's visit thank you. unless its dr mcdreamy... then i'm all for it.

Broken Promises

2008-01-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

i have officially broken my longest running promise to myself. when i was 14 i stated, nay declared, that if there wasn't a diamond ring on my finger or at least a conversation about said ring, i would turn in mission papers on january 10, 2008. it seemed so far away then.
so far it almost seemed to disappear into the distance of
the time space continuum. and yet, the day has arrived.
and i feel ominously overwhelmed.

overwhelmed because i don't know what i feel. i'm not completely at peace with the idea of going. but i'm not at war with it either. its the situation of good vs good. why is it a good thing opposed to a good thing? if it were a good thing opposed to a bad thing, my decision would be made up. but the answer to prayer thus far has been,
"whatever you choose will be right".
how upsetting of an answer is that.
i know that whatever i choose will be fine
and i will be successful either way.
i just wish i had more direction in that decision.

lets be honest... i would be an adorable missionary with adorable missionary dresses and adorable missionary shoes... i know. and i would love it. and i would be great at it. i've even already written an outline of what i would say in my farewell talk. and i'll tell you what... its good. however, leaving for 18 months to serve is such a hard concept for me to grasp right now. leaving... even thinking about
that word gets me a little choked up.
but the blessings that would come from it would be

absolutely and utterly magnificent!

i can't even imagine how magnificent they would be.

but as of now i can go. anytime. i'm old enough.
the decision only waits on me now. no one else.

subject to change

2008-01-09T11:07:00.001-07:00

life has a funny way of making up your mind. you can be so dead set on something one minute, and the next, its merely a fleeting thought you once considered. i'm not sure i understand it. it seems a little complex, actually. to have polar opposite thought processes concerning the same subject matter - how does that happen? what does it take to fully convince yourself of your opinion and stick with it?

last night i spent several hours with branson, jade, etc. before she left for the mtc.

sidenote: JADE OZAWA is the most fantastically phenomenal person i have ever met. she has recently become my hero (unbeknownst to her). and swiftly climbed up my fav five (which truth be told actually consists of more than 5. its more like the fav 5x5). we are the same height - that is neat. but this girl is so gracefully opinionated. and beautiful. whoever gets her for eternity is one blessed dude. and he better recognize. jade was called to serve a mission in taiwan. as a matter of fact, i am fairly positive in saying she is driving to the mtc right this very minute. she will be a marvelous missionary. those lucky asians.

part of why i find this all so intruiging is due to the fact that i have been going back and forth about a mission for two years. and as of tomorrow i have officially reached the age to go. january 10. 3 months before i turn 21. frightening. i have always wanted to serve a mission. and when i say always, i literally mean since i can remember. one of my earliest, most lucid memories is sitting in my ctr class in primary, my name pulled out of a jar, and picking "i hope they call me on a mission" as the song to sing. however, the pianist couldn't play the song. i was asked to pick another, but then immediately shut down that idea by volunteering to play it myself. i sat down at the piano in front of 20 or so other kids and proceeded to play, singing simultaneously to my hearts content:

i hope they call me on a mission

when i have grown a foot or two

i hope by then i will be ready

to teach and preach and work as missionaries do

i hope that i can share the gospel

with those who want to know the truth

i want to be a missionary

and serve and help the Lord while i am in my youth

the words penetrated my heart and i was dead set on it. anyone asked? my 21st birthday, i would celebrate by going to the mtc. and no one could stop me. or so i thought.

who knew that the one person to stop me would be myself? certainly not i. i am still not sure what exactly happened. but as the days approach, i get more and more nervous about it. leaving for 18 months in my current state of life would be the most difficult thing ever. not that i wouldn't be endlessly blessed for it. but i just can't bring myself to fully commit to going. which tells me quite loudly that its not right. now.

the thing about it is, life is subject to change. without notice. and there's nothing to be done to change that. it is what makes life exciting. change. things change every second of every day. weather. fads. thoughts. perceptions.

---

so maybe in a year i will be serving somewhere. or perhaps i will be a student. or maybe i will be madly in love and planning a wedding.

life happens. i'm just waiting to see how.

2008

2008-01-07T14:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it is officially a week into 2008... I can't believe how fast it came! I swear I was just in Jr High and we were all getting used to writing 2000, opposed to 1999. Weird. Its crazy how time flies! It really does! I even remember in High School when
my friends and I would all talk about the future, etc...
and the year 2008 sounded so far away.

In fact, I projected that I would get married in 2008. That's crazy! Ha ha I'm by no means close to marriage - Oh committal issue laden girl that I am... But 2008 is here, and its bound to be an eventful year! So many things are possible! I'm excited...

So here's to a year full of fun adventures! Happy New Year...

New Year

2008-01-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

With the new year already here, I've made some resolutions. But I've decided not to call them resolutions. Its such a daunting title... "I resolve to set goals for myself this year that I will either swiftly forget about or disregard entirely come spring." What a waste of resolve, right? So I've decided there are things I want to do this year. 2008. The year of Champions. (Or something that sounds equally awesome when it hits your ears.)

Things I want to do in 2008...

Its going to be a checklist of sorts. I will:

laugh everyday. be financially wise. become a scriptorian.
find my optimum health and maintain it.
learn how to play 3 songs on the guitar (that's all you need,right?).
cut an original album (here's looking to you, Norah, Missy, Nelly).
read 20 books. attend 2 movie premiers. go on spontaneous trips.
return to the top of my piano game (carpal tunnel surgery, anyone?)
teach someone how to play the organ. magnify callings.
cherish friendships. be in love. be happy.

Gravity

2007-12-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

Lately my life has seemed to be quite complicated. I have become one of those girls I used to mock. The ones who can never make up their mind, who don't really know what they want - one thing one minute and another the next. You know the type. Dumb.

But for some reason I find myself falling into the trap. Yuck. I don't like it. But I can't help it! I don't know what my deal is. I decide I'm done with something and am all ready and gung-ho to walk away. And then it happens. I fall victim to the classic blunder that plagues the world of decisive people - I change my mind.

It reminds me of a song... Gravity by Sara Bareilles:

Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone...
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile. When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone...
You're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long.

I keep coming back to something I'm not sure I ultimately want. Sure, now I do. But in the end? I don't know. That's the problem. I can't make up my mind. I want to be set free and left alone, but then something always brings me back. And it really never takes too long.
Ridiculous.

Midget Hot Chocolate

2007-12-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

So there's this place downtown - its a family chocolatier. It is absolutely fantastic! Probably the best hot chocolate I have ever had! Its incredible.
And what makes it even better is it is owned by midgets.

Now don't think I'm judging - I'm not. I think it is the coolest thing ever! Some might argue that is because I'm so close to their size that I feel like I belong... But that's not the case. I just think its awesome. The service is great. The chocolate is amazing. And the counters are low to the ground.

I love it. I'm going there tonight.

San Diego

2007-12-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

So my friends and I all thought San Diego sounded nice in the middle of December, so we packed up our bags and went for 5 days. We stayed at Branson's parents house in Chula Vista. It was a lot of fun. A lot of close calls and a couple times where we could have died on the road, but we made it there and back soundly. Perhaps not safely. Ha ha (Thanks a lot, Branson...)

Sidestory: On the way into San Diego, Branson was driving my car. (Yes, my baby that was just fixed and made new again. So you can imagine how weary I was that anything should happen to it.) He thought that it would be funny and entertaining to shoot the gap between a truck and a semi... Now let me explain something - I HATE it when people shoot the gap. Its one thing to do it by yourself, but with someone else's car with other people in it... Nuh uh. Not ok. So he decided to shoot the gap one time and literally came within inches! Had my window been down, my hand would have gotten chopped off if I even thought about sticking it out. Seriously. 3 or 4 inches MAX! I wigged. I was livid. I couldn't believe he did that. I freaked a little. Ok a lot. And I yelled at him and I hit him. Yeah, I was pretty upset.
But it was a good trip. We went to the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl Game (I know, could you have a longer name for it??) between the University of Utah and Navy. It was an excellent game. One of the best I've been to in a while. Utah pulled off a win of 35 - 32. And it was the most sportsmanship-filled game I've ever seen. I was proud to represent Utah.

It was a little cold, but still a good time. But California was beautiful! The sunsets were incredible! I wish I could have the mountains and the ocean at the same time... I'll have to work on that...

It was a lot of fun! A much needed vacation. The only problem now is that I want to go again... Dang job that I love that keeps me confined to Salt Lake City 5 out of every 7 days... Blast. Anyway, it was a good trip. There were a few frustrating moments, but we all got through them. The sad part is, I'm already ready to go back! Being a beach bum sounds awfully fun. But that's not ecomonical. Ha ha And probably not so smart. Oh well. I'll just sit here at my cold desk, watch the snow fall outside the window, dreading driving in it, and dream of beautiful CA... Dang snow-filled winter. MmMmm the beach!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

First things first. Merry Christmas! What a great day yesterday was. Our family had one of the best Christmases any of us could remember. It was fantastic.

It was a little bittersweet at times. It is the last Christmas we will all have together for a while. Austin will be on a mission for sure next Christmas, with the possibility of me being gone as well. And from then on out for 10 years, someone will always be missing. It was kind of sad to think about it like that. But it couldn't have been a better last Christmas just the 10 of us. It was perfect.

So here's wishing everyone's Christmas was as great as mine!

Reunited

2007-12-10T14:07:00.001-07:00

AH! What a beautiful day Friday was! I was finally reunited with my car! After 3 and a half painful, inconvenient weeks, my car was finally finished.

It was a pretty emotional moment for me. Ha ha I would be lying if I said that I didn't get teary-eyed when I first saw my car. My dad and I drove up the street and it was sitting out front, beautiful and clean, pre-sneeze condition, if you will. It was beautiful! And the tears welled in my grateful eyes.

I'm not sure if the tears were mostly excitement to have it back, remembering the wreck and recognizing how grateful I truly was to not be injured, or a combination of both. It was great, though! I got in the drivers seat and felt at home. OH HOW I MISSED MY CAR! But now we've been reunited and life is much cheerier. Not just for me, either. Tay's been a good sport letting me use his car. Sweet. He's a good kid. He about did cartwheels when he realized he was getting his car back. How precious.

Moral of the story: I will never sneeze while driving again.

Billy Joel

2007-12-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

Billy Joel. The Piano Man. What an excellent show!
It was totally rad! He was amazing. And when he started to sing, " I am the entertainer", I had to hold back my tears. Beautiful. Ha ha Ok, so I didn't really come close to crying, but it was pretty awesome.

We didn't start the fire! Really, what more is there to say?

Sing Us A Song, Piano Man

2007-11-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

SING US A SONG, YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN! SING US A SONG TONIGHT! CAUSE WE'RE ALL IN THE MOOD FOR A MELODY, AND YOU'VE GOT US FEELING ALRIGHT.

I went to the Billy Joel Concert last night. INCREDIBLE! It was so good. Its something on my list of things I want to accomplish before I die. And it was amazing. Billy Joel - that man is brilliant! I can only wish I could be as good as he is. It was truly the best concert I have ever been to.

I'm working on posting pictures and a few videos from the show... Hopefully I'll get that up soon.

Rivalry Day

2007-11-24T09:51:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting here, at a foreign computer, waiting for people to wake up. How lame. Its 10 am on a Saturday. The best time to be awake. The sun is out! Its beautifully cold outside and there are so many things to do! Why would you want to be asleep right now?

And today of all days! Its RIVALRY DAY! That's right! The BYU vs Utah football game. It only comes around once a year, and it is a day I always look forward to!

Last year's game was incredible! John Beck, Johnny Harline - What a team! It was close the whole game and as the final seconds ran out on the clock, John Beck saw an opportunity, took a shot and Johnny Harline made an incredible catch on his knees.

And the words of Greg Wrubell will forever ring in my ears - "Snap to John. John backpedals, Plenty of time. Plenty of time. Plenty of time. He's moving to his left, shuffling, shuffling, shuffling, All kinds of time... And it is... CAUGHT FOR THE TOUCHDOWN! CAUGHT FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!" I love it! Seriously, it was the greatest game I've seen in a long time.

And here it is again. One year later. I'm so excited! Go Cougars!

Grandad

2007-11-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is my Grandad. Isn't he cute?! That's what we told him yesterday to get him to smile.

See, Grandad doesn't ever really smile in pictures. Not like this atleast. And Mom and I were trying to make him smile after Thanksgiving Dinner and we were telling him how cute he was and he started laughing - And I caught it just at the right time! Thank heavens for digital photography! I snapped 3 in a row and someone ended up with 2 good pictures and 1 excellent picture of him.

Giving Thanks

2007-11-21T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well its officially been a week since my $9,000 sneeze happened (I've decided that referring to it as a ridiculously expensive sneeze doesn't make me as sad as calling it an accident...). Its strange how time flies by. And how slow it goes at the same time. It will still be a couple weeks before I get my car back. But hopefully it will all go well and according to plan, which places my car back in my posession the early part of December. But I'm not planning on it. That way I won't be as disappointed when I get it back the week before Christmas.

Merry Christmas to me.

Anyway, things have started to mend. My neck is almost good again- Still a little sore, but bearable. I can atleast fall asleep now, whereas before I had a hard time getting comfortable enough to fall asleep.

And Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I LOVE Thanksgiving! It is officially my favorite holiday! Even more than Christmas. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. But it is so commercialized and the focus isn't right. That's part of why Thanksgiving is so great. Its almost skipped over. Everyone goes straight into Christmas mode from Halloween, and sort of disregard Thanksgiving - after all, its just a big dinner, right?

WRONG. It is the best day of the year. Its a time for family, fun, food and football. What more could you ask for? You reflect on all of the things you are thankful for and all of the blessings you have been given. You eat delicious food with people you love and who love you back. Its just so great. What a fantastic holiday!

So here's wishing everyone a fantastic Thanksgiving Day! Enjoy the parade! Savor the food! Eat more pie than you should! And most of all, remember to give thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Damages

2007-11-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Toyota Corolla: $16,000
Damages from accident: $9,000
Only having a sore neck as opposed to a hospital stay: Priceless.

*Good thing my mom prayed for my safety that morning!*

Wreck

2007-11-14T10:01:00.001-07:00

Wrecked. My poor car! This isn't a very good picture, but it gives you and idea of the damage.

I was driving home from work and I was slowing down, when I sneezed - three times in a row. That's right. Sneeze. As in, ah-choo. Ridiculous, isn't it. I sneezed and closed my eyes and my foot released the brake and I slammed into the back of another car.

I wasn't going very fast. I was already slowing down to stop at a light. I couldn't have been going more than 10 or 15 mph. The whole situation is uncanny and surreal almost. I wasn't going fast enough for my airbags to even deploy. But it may have totalled my car. It pushed the radiator back into everything on the passenger side of the car and compressed the front frame of the car into the doors so that I couldn't open them. I had to crawl out the window.

But no injuries were sustained. My neck is a little sore this morning, but other than that all parties involved are ok. Including the other car.

Just not mine...

Veteran's Day

2007-11-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

My Siblings... They're so funny. "Lets try and put each other in one big headlock!" "OK!" Ha ha I love it. They seriously are some of the funniest people I know.

For example, I was sitting in church on Sunday, and in the meeting, they recognized all of the veterans in the congregation, asking them to stand, what with it being Veterans Day and all. And my youngest brother Braden (the little weasely one with glasses) leaned over to me and said, "Shan, should I stand up?" Completely straight faced. I kind of laughed and told him no, that he wasn't a veteran. And he looked up at me and said, "Yeah I am! I've lived through a war!" And we both started laughing - Right in the middle of church! How irreverently hilarious that was! I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. It was fantastic!

Foo Fighters and Candy Canes

2007-11-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people are in poor, surly moods and it rubs off on others. That drives me CRAZY! I can't stand it! (Picture Lina LaMont in 'Singing In The Rain'... When she is going over how to say her lines with the speech lady... And she says, "I con't stond him" - that's my way of writing the accent... ha ha ha! And then Lina repeats with, "I kean't steand 'im"... Like that. In a real high pitched voice... I KEEAN'T STEEAND IT!!!)

Anyway, when you're hanging out with your friends you generally want to have a good time, right? Right. However... when someone storms in the house and you know and they know they don't really want to be there, but they show up because they don't have anywhere else to go... That really bothers me. And it would be one thing if they kept their woes and grumbles to themselves... But they never do. They want everyone to feel awful for them. Misery LOVES company... And the more people to sympathize with them and coddle the miserable one, the better they feel about being ridiculous. Which I think is exactly that... Ridiculous!

I know everyone has bad days and everyone has troubles and whatnot, but seriously - Life can't be THAT bad. Look for the good. Quit dwelling on all of the horrible. It won't go away if you are constantly thinking about it. Focus on something positive. Think about Thanksgiving - Who isn't happy on Thanksgiving?! Its the best day of the year! A blessed feast! Football games galore! Naps! Family! Friends! It is absolutely wonderful. And I love it!

Seriously, though. I hate being around grumpy people. It makes me grumpy. And there's only one thing (ok maybe a couple more... ) that I hate more than self-pitying grumps... That is when they rub off on me. I will have to start avoiding them like vampires. I'll have to find something similar to garlic and sunlight to ward them off... Hm. I'll have to work on that. Let's see... Garlic, garlic, garlic... Garlic salt, sea salt, sea water, sea lion, Lion King, King Arthur, Arthur and DW, Dark Wing Duck, Donald Duck, McDonalds, Egg McMuffin, Egg Foo Yung, Foo Fighters! That's it! I'll constantly listen to Foo Fighters... and... Wait for it... Sunlight, moon light, blue moon, bleu cheese, cheesecake, cupcakes, frosting, sugar, sugar cane, candy cane... Candy canes!!! I'll listen to Foo Fighters and eat candy canes and ward off grumpy people... Fantastic.

I'm going to go buy candy canes...

Pie Face

2007-11-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

So I just introduced my sister to blog. She's 4. Ha ha I told her how to access the page. And she did it. On her first try. This girl is tech savvy... When she was 3 she knew how to turn on the computer, open the internet and go to HomestarRunner. com ... Ha ha! I think its awesome. She's a genius. She'll be the smartest of us kids for sure. (But only because we teach her everything we know... So maybe we'll just be even.)

Mom & Daddy

2007-11-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

These are my fantastic parents....
My Mom - How cute is she? In her army get-up for Halloween... Ha ha! I love it. She's my bestest friend of all time.

And my Daddy - He's the best guy I know! He just looks so jolly in his hawaiian get-up, don't you think?! Ha ha ha! He's great! He is the hardest worker ever. There should be more men like him in the world....

Stuff and Nonsense

2007-11-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

So you know when you hear a song you haven't heard in a while and you realize you remember all the words and as you sing them outloud, you realize that this song is completely applicable to your current situation? ... Yeah, thats my story today. "Stuff and Nonsense" by Missy Higgins (originally written by Neil and Tim Finn)... What a great song. It goes like this:

*Disobey my own decisions. I deserve all your suspicions. First it's yes and then it's no - I dilly dally down to duo.But I've got no secrets that I babble in my sleep. I won't make promises to you that I can't keep... And you know that I love you, Here and now not forever. I can give you the present. I don't know about the future, That's all stuff and nonsense.
I once lived for the future - Every day was one day closer. Greener on the other side, Yes, I believed before I met you. But I soon learned your love burned brighter than the stars in my eyes. Now I know how and when, I know where and why... And you know that I love you, Here and now not forever. I can give you the present. I don't know about the future, That's all stuff and nonsense.
And you know that I love you, Here and now not forever. I can give you the present. I don't know about the future, That's all stuff and nonsense.And you know that I love you, Here and now not forever. I can give you the present. I don't know about the future, That's all stuff and nonsense.*

Beautiful song! Awesome lyrics and this amazing guitar slash piano accompaniment. I love it. It sorta hits how I feel lately. I'm sick of living for the future! Live life now and enjoy it! The future is inevitable... So why not live the present? Right? Right. Because everything else is 'all stuff and nonsense'...